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Potential: Winged Possibilities to Dreams Realized!

This article describes how to observe, reflect, and respond to hidden potential in children.

  • Topics
    • Assessment: Identification
  • Author
    Barnes-Robinson, L., Jeweler, S. & Ricci, M.
  • Publications
    Parenting for High Potential
  • Publisher
    National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC)
  • Year
    June 2004

As parents, how many times have we heard, "Tracy is not working to her full potential," or "Robert is capable of much more"? Many of us have encountered these words on school report cards, during teacher conferences, from athletic coaches, piano teachers, or from family members. What is potential? What unleashes potential? As we examine these questions, we explore strategies and ideas for freeing the power within our children to discover their interests and to develop their strengths so that their dreams may be realized.

The dictionary defines potential as "power; existing in possibility; capable of development into actuality." Potential may be an internal passion; it may be determined by circumstances and opportunities; or it may be a combination all of these ideas.

Think about this story. A pineapple producer harvests pineapples before they are fully-grown. This is done because the pineapples must fit inside the cans used for packaging. The pineapples, however, have the potential of growing to be much larger and possibly much sweeter. All they need is the opportunity to grow. These pineapples could be so much more. Their potential is not freed, possibilities are not known, and development is limited.

What can we learn from the pineapple story? Children too, need opportunities for growth. There isn't a one-size-fits-all approach. How do we know that we are parenting in a way that fosters the development of what is possible in out children?

Children give us dues that help us recognize their potential. As parents, we need to open our eyes to the everyday actions of our children. Parents can help their children find the power within themselves by using the process we call Observe, Reflect, and Respond (ORR). ORR is a model for parents to think about and act on their children's behaviors. Observing and reflecting on behaviors in each of the following categories of characteristics can alert us to the presence of potential. Once the behaviorsare recognized, our responses may help that potential become performance.

When observing and reflecting about our children, it is helpful to begin by understanding what each of following categories of characteristics means in order to organize our thinking.

    "Within every child's brain is a mind teeming with ideas and dreams and abilities unrealized. The greatest thing we can do - as parents, teachers and friends - is to nourish that potential, both intellectual and humanitarian, so that each mind can fulfill its promise to the benefit of mankind."
    Dr. Ben Carson

Thinking (Cognition)

Thinking is the process of logical reasoning. It is the act or process of knowing. Children often let us know what they are thinking about. They may tell us in words and show us through their actions and behaviors.

Responsibility (Commitment)

Responsibility occurs when people are able to answer for their conduct or follow-through on an agreement to do something. Children often show us through their actions that they can start and finish a task or that they understand responsible behavior.

Breaking Work into Parts (Task Analysis)

Work into Parts is the ability to know the steps to follow in order to complete an assigned piece of work. Your child may demonstrate that he or she has an understanding of how to complete tasks successfully.

Creative Ability (Imagination)

Creative Ability is a person's command of imagery and the ability to be inventive. Children share their crea.tions of the mind in a variety of ways, including artistic, musical, poetic, literary, and spatial expression.

Appreciation of Beauty (Aesthetics)

Appreciation of Beauty is an individual's response to a thing that gives pleasure to the senses. Children can let us know verbally, non-verbally, and artistically that they recognize beautiful things.

Interactions with Others (Social Ability)

Interactions with Others can be defined as the cooperative and interdependent relationships of an individual with the members of a group. Children can be observed as they engage in activities with others.

The following charts offer specific examples of each of these six categories. Column one describes a specific observable behavior you could make about your child; column two lists questions that you can ask yourself during reflection time; and column three offers possible responses that may unleash the potential observed in your child. These are some examples designed as jumping off places for your individualized responses. Mentors, coaches, family, friends, and others can also use the ORR (observe, reflect, respond) process. Once you modle and teach the process, children themselves can observe, reflect, and do their own activities.

Thinking (Cognition)

Observe
Reflect
Respond
Sits alone and looks through reading materials for hours Is my child reading in order to enjoy learning about things? What is my child interested in? Does my child understand what is read? Ask questions about my child's reading materials. Notice the topics related to the reading materials and collect a variety of books, articles, etc. that would interest my child.
Asks questions about anything and everything What is my child curious about? How can I help my child answer questions? Gather materials with my child to find an¬swers to questions. Talk with my child about possible answers. Choose guiding ques¬tions to help my child answer questions.
Daydreams for an extended period of time Does my child reflect on ideas and experiences? Do I value my child's need for daydreaming? Make time for my child to dream. Talk to my child about what he/she is thinking. Value the experience of having time to be alone.
Finds connections and relationships between and among things What is the process my child uses to see connections? Ask my child for observations of what is common or different between things. Ask my child to explain how the connections were made.
Remembers things that I forget Does my child have a strong memory? How does my child remember things? Play memory games with my child such as Concentration. Memorize and recite poems, songs, or stories. together.
Interprets things differently from others his or her age Does my child find interesting and unusual answers to problems? How do I validate my child's interpretations? Play "what if' games with my child. Ask my child how he or she generated these ideas.


Responsibility (Commitment)

Observe
Reflect
Respond
Brings home animals in need of care Does my child feel responsible for helping the animals? Introduce my child to books about animals. Take my child to interview a veterinarian. Suggest helping a neighbor with a pet.
Tries hard even though mistakes are being made Does my child complete difficult tasks? Does my child deal well with frustration? Is my child persistent? Is my child a perfectionist?
Praise my child's efforts. Explain that often a good way to learn is from our mistakes. Share how you persevered after making a mistake.
Finishes a project independently Is my child able to work alone? Do I help my child more than I need to? Is my child able to meet individual and/or group project deadlines? Praise my child for completing tasks. Give my child added responsibilities at home. Evaluate when my child needs my help or doesn't need it.
Talks about helping people What opportunities could I offer my child for helping others? Join service organizations. Volunteer in the community. Discuss issues about fairness. Ask if there are particular prob¬lems or people my child wants to help.
Is always ready for school on time Does my child take responsibility for self? Give my child additional opportunities for independence. Praise my child's organizational skills. Recognize the positive contribution of each family member.


Appreciation of Beauty (Aesthetics)

Observe
Reflect
Respond
Tells you about a beautiful sunset Does my child comment often about beauty in nature? Is my child observant? Talk about colors, form, composition, etc. in nature. Point out aesthetically pleasing things in the environment.
Reads poetry Does my child recognize the beauty of words, rhythm, figurative language (metaphors, similes)? Read poetry together. Get books on tape of poetry written for children.
Recognizes beauty in art and architecture Does my child observe the environment for things of beauty? Take my child to art galleries and museums. Take art books out of the public library for my child. Take a city architecture tour. Teach my child how to locate resources on the Internet.
Is always listening to music What is it about the music my child appreciates? What kinds of music does my child listen to? Take my child to a concert. Share my personal music library with my child.
Recognize details in decor, fashion, etc. Does my child have a sense of style? Does my child recognize color, form, composition, and theme? Encourage my child to choose outfits for school. Allow my child to give input into decorating a room in the house.


Breaking Work into Parts (Task Analysis)

Observe
Reflect
Respond
Plans the dinner menu Does my child understand the steps for completing a job or project? Give my child opportunities to do complicated jobs around the house. Let my child help plan a family outing, or a special meal.
Explains how to play a complex game Is my child capable of doing more com¬plicated tasks than I thought possible? Let my child explain the steps in a task to a younger sibling. Play complex games with my child. Ask my child to help me solve a problem.
Finishes long-term school projects with ease What time-management skills does my child use? Encourage my child to become involved in extracurricular activities because of the ability to budget time well. Ask my child to help plan family activities.
Keeps a neat and organized bedroom Is neatness and organization carried over to other aspects of my child's life? Ask for child's help for organizing issues or needs around the house. Assist my child in transferring these skills to other areas when needed.
Does my child see different solutions to solve the same problem? Are my child's ideas effective and efficient ways of solving a problem? Does my child see solutions in a different way? Reinforce my child's unique thinking. Ask my child to explain the steps used to solve the problem. Look for, and discuss, many ways to solve a problem.


Interactions with Others (Social Ability)

Observe
Reflect
Respond
Sits by an aging relative and cuddles for a long time Does my child think about or sense others' needs? Let my child know that the affection shown to the relative is important. Ask how else he or she can interact socially.
Has good friends What attributes does my child have that attract good friends? Does my child prefer fewer good friends rather than many casual friends? Create play dates for my child. Talk about the value of friendship. Suggest books to read about friendship. Recognize the value of a "few good friends."
Enjoys listening to and telling family stories Is my child family oriented? Arrange for family get-togethers. Write the family stories into a book. Take oral history from older relatives.
Leads others What leadership qualities does my child have? Encourage my child to lead the family in an activity over the weekend. Enroll my child in leadership activities.
Comments on or evaluates interactions between others What positive activities will allow my child to practice his/her interpersonal skills? Encourage child to observe others and remain non-judgmental.


Creative Ability (Imagination)

Observe
Reflect
Respond
Sings and explores rhythm. Does my child have musical or dance ability? Play different kinds of music on the radio or CD player. Take my child to a concert. Consider music lessons. Clear a special space for my child to dance. Play a vari¬ety of music to move to. Ask if my child would like to take dance lessons. Attend a dance performance.
Creates and plays "make believe" games. Do my child's toys promote pretend play? Should I get involved during this play? Acknowledge the value of the play. Get involved in the play. Introduce new scenarios to the play.
Draws pictures on the sidewalk, scraps of paper, and in the sand at the beach. Does my child have an interest/talent in drawing? How can I promote this interest/talent? Ask my child to draw something specific for me. Show examples of many kinds of drawing. Introduce different materials for drawing. Draw with my child. Take my child to an art gallery.
Has fun playing with "any old stuff" around the house. Is my child able to think about everyday objects in different ways? Use questions to promote creative thinking about the "stuff." Suggest: "Can you think of another use for this potato masher?" "Or what does it remind you?"
Makes up stories, songs, poems, inventions, or about everyday things. How can I encourage creativity without being judgmental? How do I nurture original thinking? Encourage my child to be creative with stories. Ask questions that will force my child to give more details. Share how much I enjoy the stories. Encourage my child to write them down, or dictate them to me.
Creates unusual ideas or answers to problems. How can I encourage my child's originality? Present my child with some problems that need solutions. Acknowledge their good ideas. Ask about consequences of responses and ask my child to give reasons for prioritizing the best idea.

There are times when we observe behaviors in our children that we do not think are constructive. For example, a teacher may say that a child always has a smart remark and acts like the class clown. The challenge becomes, first, one of reflecting on the behavior and then channeling our response in order to influence the behavior so that it is more constructive and positive. For example, in this situation the reflective questions may include:

  • Why does my child seem to use humor when things aren't really funny?
  • Does my child know what is inappropriate?
  • What can I do to put a positive spin on this specific behavior?

Responses may include ways to validate the child's sense of humor but work on strategies to help the child use humor appropriately. Some possibilities are: ask my child to share funny anecdotes with the family; ask my child to write stand-up comedy routines and perform them for the family; enroll my child in a drama class; and/or explore school or community comedy clubs designed for students. When interviewed, many professional comedians have told of how, as youngsters, their class clown behaviors were turned around by finding public outlets for their talent through the guidance of parents, teachers, or other significant individuals. Their potential was nurtured and realized.

What liberates potential?

Social, emotional, and sensory experiences shape the brain in the early years more than information does. Our culture shapes us in the early years, too. That occurs when the brain has the most capacity to organize itself, taking advantage of all the neurons to lay the framework in language, music, math, and art. The cells do not engage if there aren't opportunities, and without opportunities, the possible connections are never made.

Potential can be unleashed in different ways including recognizing opportunities, identifying requisite skills, and working in a positive climate. Our role, as parents, is to offer guidance and direction to our children so they will develop their talents and realize their gifts. Using the ORR (Observe, Reflect, and Respond) process can provide specific ideas that give inspiration, stimulation, and affirmation to our children.

What inspires a child to want to try something new, practice a skill, and be persistent? A writer, athlete, inventor, artist, parent, or teacher may provide inspiration to our children. Other external sources of inspiration may include the drive for success, rewards, fame, and money. It is the response parents can give that may inspire a child to do better, try something new, learn from mistakes, or help others.

In one focus group with children, several9-13-year-old boys were asked, "What inspires you?" Surprisingly, their responses reflected an internal inspiration--one that comes from inside. "When I do well at something, it inspires me to do better," "If! play soccer well, I want to play it more." This internal inspiration can also motivate and challenge a child's views.

Two other aspeCts of freeing potential are stimulation and affirmation. Many children need to be jumpstarted to begin a task or pursue an interest. A positive statement or encouragement from a peer, parent, or instructor can contribute to unleashing their potential. The reinforcement takes place through our words and our actions. This support acts as an affirmation for the child. Affirmation builds confidence, and confidence frees children to become risk-takers.

Working with your Child's School

Transferring and applying the response component of the process to a variety of situations outside of the home is another important step. School is a great place to explore possibilities. Teachers benefit from knowing a child's interests and strengths. Children and parents are encouraged to share this information with their teachers to help teachers make more effective and respectful responses to their students.

Parent/teacher conferences are opportunities for the participants to learn from one another. Prepare for a conference by observing your child in the six categories and answer the following questions from your perspective. Then when you discuss them, you and your child's teacher will become partners in unleashing your child's potential.

General:

  • What do you see as my child's greatest strengths?
  • Where does my child need to improve?
  • What do you see as my child's favorite interests?
  • What have you found to be the most successful way to encourage those interests?

Thinking (Cognition):

  • How quickly does my child grasp new concepts?
  • To what extent does my child make connections and see relationships between things and/or ideas?

Responsibility (Commitment):

  • How well does my child follow through with tasks?
  • To what extent does my child take responsibility for his/her actions?
  • How does my child respond to assignments?
  • How effectively does my child work independently?

Breaking Work into Parts (Task Analysis):

  • Is my child organized?
  • How effective are his or her time-management skills?
  • How does my child perform with a multi-step problem? How can I help at home?

Creative Ability (Imagination):

  • In what areas do you see my child as creative?
  • What do you do to encourage and develop creativity?
  • What do you suggest that I can do at home?

Appreciation of Beauty (Aesthetics):

  • How does my child respond when works or fine art, music, dance, or other forms of beauty are introduced?

Interactions with Others (Social Ability):

  • Tell me about my child's peer relationships.
  • What kind of a friend is my child?
  • How does my child show compassion towards others?
  • How do you foster cooperation, collaboration and compassion in your classroom?
  • What do you suggest that I can do at home to encourage these behaviors?

Our observations, reflections, and responses to our children's behaviors give us insights we can use. Talk to your child about his/her strengths. Role-play with your child how to appropriately share personal interests and strengths with others. In this way, parents can help their child become a self-advocate. For example, a child who has musical talent and ability may approach the teacher and ask if it would be possible to write and perform a song as an alternative project in social studies. In a math class, a child may become a risk-taker during a discussion and share an alternative way of solving a particular problem.

The school setting is not the only place outside of the home where a child's potential can be freed. Parents and children can transfer advocacy skills and opportunities to any venue, including athletics, community activities, the arts, or family outings and get-togethers. The world, then, becomes the place for a child's ideas, dreams, and abilities to become realized. Remember the pineapples!

    "What is potential? It is having persistence, not giving up, courage, and if you have any of these qualities, well, then, you have potential in case you were wondering if you have it or not. If you look deep inside yourself, you will find potential ... to work with something until it's finished. How do you tap potential? You need a good reason. You need to want to do something. Make it fun and interesting. Maybe a friend to encourage or help you. You need a reward, like an "A" to keep you going. Knowing you've accomplished something equals a spin in your wheely chair."
    Maire Claire Diemer (9 years old)

Resources For Children Ages 3-8
Ages 3-8

  • Bloom, S. (2002). A Place to Grow. Los Angeles: Bloom and Grow Books. ISBN: 1931969078 Hardcover, 34 pp., $11.50
  • Isadora, R (1979). Ben's Trumpet. New York: Mulberty Books. ISBN: 0688109888 Paperback 32 pp., $6.99
  • Rankin, Joan. (2001). Wow! It's Great Being a Duck. New York: Simon & Schuster (Aladdin Library). ISBN: 06898404702001 Paperback, 30 pp., $5.99
  • Stoutland, Allison. (2000) Put Your Best Foot Forward: More Lessons for a Happier World. Okemos, MI: Inch by Inch Publications. ISBN: 0967094119 Hardcover, 32 pp., $14.95
  • Suess, Dr. (1975). Oh, the Thinks You Can Think! New York: Random House. ISBN: 0394831292 Paperback, 64 pp., $8.99

Ages 8+

  • Gerstein, Mordicai. (2002). What Charlie Heard. New York: Farrar, Straus, & Giroux. ISBN: 0374382921 Hardcover, 40 pp., $11.90
  • Monk, Carmela. Quly 1998). Secret Keys: Stories that Unlock a Child's Potential. Hagerstown, MD: Review & Herald Publishing Association. ISBN: 0828007241 Paperback, 93 pp., $6.00
  • Parks, Rosa. (October 1996). Dear Mrs. Parks: A Dialogue with Today's lOuth. New York: Lee & Low Books. ISBN: 1880000458 Hardcover, III pp. $16.95

Resources for Adults

  • Caine, R, & Caine, G. (1997). Unleashing the Power of Perceptual Change. Alexandria, VA:. Association of Supervision and Curriculum Development.
  • Davis, S., Hunt, R, & Jenkins, G. (2002). The Pact. New York: Riverhead Books.
  • Susskind, R (1998). A Hope in the Unseen. New York: Broadway Books

Author Note.
Linda Barnes-Robinson is an Instructional Specialist in the Gifted and Ialented Office, Montgomery County Public Schools, Rockville, MD.
Sue Jeweler, a writer and retired 30-year veteran teacher, is a part-time professional for Montgomery County Public Schools in Rockville, MD.
Mary Cay Ricci is an Instructional Specialist in the Gifted and Ialented Office, Montgomery County Public Schools, Rockville, MD.

Permission Statement

Copyright material from Parenting for High Potential, a publication of the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC). Reprinted with permission. Further reprints require permission of NAGC.

This article is provided as a service of the Davidson Institute for Talent Development, a 501(c)3 nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted young people 18 and under. To learn more about the Davidson Institute’s programs, please visit www.DavidsonGifted.org.

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