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Social/Emotional Development: Perfectionism

• Printed Materials: Books

  Being Perfect

  Anna Quindlen, author of the bestseller A Short Guide to a Happy Life, wrote this book to let readers know about "the perfection trap," the price you pay when you become ensnared in it, and the key to setting yourself free. Quindlen believes that when your success looks good to the world but doesn't feel good in your heart, it isn't success at all.

  How to Take the ACHE Out of Mistakes

  Making a mistake can leave anyone feeling sick in the stomach or thinking that the world is going to end. Learning how to cope with mistakes—and how to stop that “ache”—can be one of the hardest parts of growing up. How to Take the ACHE Out of Mistakes takes a closer look at the mistakes kids make—honest and intentional—and offers practical advice on how to bounce back. With a healthy dose of humor, readers learn that embarrassing moments aren’t forever and a sincere apology can go a long way.

  Letting Go of Perfect: Overcoming Perfectionism in Kids

  Written by Jill L. Adelson, Ph.D. and Hope E. Wilson, Ph.D., this book pinpoints a crippling state of mentality among many kids today—the need to be absolutely perfect—and gives parents and teachers the guidance and support they need to help children break free of the anxieties and behaviors related to perfectionism.
  

  Living With Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and the Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults

  This book describes the overexcitabilities of gifted students, as well as strategies for dealing with children and adults who experience them. It also provides essential information on Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration. Learn practical methods for nurturing sensitivity, intensity, perfectionism, and much more. Also view Tips for Parents: Living With Intensity – Overexcitabilities in Profoundly Gifted Children.

  Moving Past Perfect: How Perfectionism May Be Holding Back Your Kids (and You!) and What You Can Do About It (formerly titled Freeing Our Families from Perfectionism)

  In this book, author Tom Greenspon explains perfectionism, where it comes from (including influences outside the family), and what to do about it. He describes a healing process for transforming perfectionism into healthy living practices and self-acceptance. If you think your child may be a perfectionist--if you've ever wondered if you're a perfectionist--this book is for you. Click here to read a review of this book.

  Parent's Guide to Raising a Gifted Toddler: Recognizing and Developing the Potential of Your Child from Birth to Five Years

  While this digest includes articles, research reports and advice from Gifted Children Monthly, it also contains original work by author James Alvino on emotional needs, perfectionism and the superbaby scourge and gender-specific issues.

  Perfectionism and Gifted Children

  During her 35 year career, Rosemary Callard-Szulgit found perfectionism to be the number one social-emotional trait of gifted children. She has helped hundreds of students recover from its harmful effects. This book provides insight into perfectionism, discussing why so many gifted children are perfectionists, while providing common sense solutions.

  Perfectionism: A Practical Guide to Managing “Never Good Enough”

  For perfectionists of all types, whether children or adults, this practical guide explains myths about perfectionism and provides a new paradigm with practical steps to turn the negative into positive, build resilience, and develop optimism. Goals, perseverance, mindset, and self-talk are emphasized. The author, Lisa Van Gemert, is an educator and widely-known speaker and was Youth and Education Ambassador for Mensa. She understands perfectionism in herself as well as through her work.

  Perfectionism: What's Bad about Being too Good?

  This thought-provoking book by Miriam Adderholdt, Ph.D., and Jan Goldberg explains the differences between healthy ambition and unhealthy perfectionism and gives strategies for recognizing the symptoms. Learn how to: Identify what perfectionism can do to your mind and body, Recognize what perfectionism can do to your relationships, Set reasonable standards for yourself, Take positive risks and more. This book can also provide adults insight into how their behavior and expectations can contribute to perfectionism in the teens they parent and teach.

  Smart Parenting for Smart Kids: Nurturing Your Child's True Potential

  This book explains the reasons behind a number of struggles related to perfectionism, effort, and more, and offers parents do-able strategies to help children cope with feelings, embrace learning, and build satisfying relationships. Drawing from research as well as the authors’ clinical experience, it focuses on the essential skills children need to make the most of their abilities and become capable, confident, and caring people.

  Social-Emotional Curriculum With Gifted and Talented Students (The Critical Issues in Equity and Excellence in Gifted Education Series)

  Written by Joyce VanTassel-Baska, Ed.D., Tracy L. Cross, Ph.D. and F. Richard Olenchak, Ph.D., this book by provides a thorough introduction to methods for developing social-emotional curricula for use with gifted and talented learners in the school setting. It covers theories to guide affective curricula, the needs of minority students, models to develop social-emotional curricula, tips for counseling gifted students, and strategies to promote the social-emotional needs of gifted students, along with discussions of suicide prevention among this population, the use of bibliotherapy and discussion groups, and the teacher-counselor connection in affective curricula.

  The Survival Guide for Parents of Gifted Kids: How to Understand, Live With, and Stick Up for Your Gifted Child

  This book by authors Sally Yahnke Walker and Susan Perry offers up-to-date, authoritative information about giftedness, gifted educucation, problems, personality traits, and more. You'll learn what 'giftedness' means, how kids are identified as gifted, and what's good—and bad—about the label. You'll find out how to keep from raising a 'nerd,' how to prevent perfectionism, and how to advocate for your child at school.

  Understanding Your Gifted Child From the Inside Out: A Guide to the Social and Emotional Lives of Gifted Kids

  This book provides an engaging and encouraging look at raising gifted children today. A follow-up to the best-selling Parenting Gifted Kids: Tips for Raising Happy and Successful Children, this new edition focuses on the social and emotional aspects of giftedness, highlighting new information on the issues of perfectionism, self-advocacy, underachievement, mindfulness, and the impact of technology on gifted kids' relationships. The book also features a section on life beyond college, for those readers whose children are no longer children. Understanding Your Gifted Child From the Inside Out features real-life stories about the lives of gifted children and how they and their parents recognize and enjoy the many intellectual talents and social and emotional insights they possess.

  What to Do When Good Enough Isn't Good Enough: The Real Deal on Perfectionism

  Perfectionism is an issue many gifted children and adults face. In this book, author Thomas S. Greenspon explains the characteristics of and ideas on how to overcome perfectionism. This guide is tailored especially for preteens and teenagers.

  When Gifted Kids Don’t Have All The Answers: How to Meet Their Social and Emotional Needs

  In this book, authors Jim Delisle and Judy Galbraith explain what giftedness means, how gifted kids are identified, and how we might improve the identification process. Then they take a close-up look at gifted kids from the inside out—their social and emotional needs. Topics include self-image and self-esteem, perfectionism, multipotential, depression, feelings of “differentness,” and stress. The authors suggest ways to help gifted underachievers and those who are bored in school, and ways to encourage healthy relationships with friends, family and other adults. Click here to read a review of this book (previous 2002 edition).

  You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Side

  This entry level book is written by Judy Galbraith for parents of children ages 2-8. It includes characteristics of gifted, descriptions of terms used in gifted education, perfectionism, parenting the gifted child, working with the schools and the rights of parents.

• Printed Materials: Online Documents

  Voices of perfectionism: Perfectionistic gifted adolescents in a rural middle school

  This study investigated the characteristics of perfectionistic gifted male and female adolescents in a rural middle school, how they perceived their perfectionism, the influences on their perfectionism, and the consequences of their perfectionistic behaviors in the context of their rural middle school experiences.

• Websites & Other Media: Informational

  In praise of perfectionism

  This article by Stephen A. Diamond discusses how "perfectionism has taken a bum rap. Were it not for perfectionism, we would be in short supply of all those myriad human activities we deem extraordinary, excellent, outstanding or great in quality."

  Perfectionism and the Gifted Child

  This article offers suggestions on how to deal with perfectionism and depression related to the highly gifted.

  Perfectionism versus Healthy Striving

  This article from the University of Texas at Austin's Counseling and Mental Health Center discusses perfectionism and how it affects people. It also lists myths versus realities and coping strategies.