A Strengths-Based Approach for Children Who Are Twice-Exceptional

This article is adapted from Davidson Institute’s “Twice-Exceptionality: A Resource Guide for Parents”, part of our collection of free guidebooks for gifted and 2e families. For a deeper dive into supporting your twice-exceptional child, we encourage you to explore the full guide.

A strengths-based approach considers the whole child. It recognizes the child, first, as a gifted individual who deserves opportunities to develop her talents and interests, and second, as a student who deserves the appropriate support in areas of challenge so that he can fully demonstrate those talents and interests. By putting their strengths in the forefront, children build on the inner resources they already have, which puts them in a better position to work on areas of difficulty; as a child grows in one area, other areas can follow.

Building a strengths-based plan for a child doesn’t happen overnight and doesn’t just address a child’s education. It’s an overall approach for all aspects of a child’s life: their intellectual, social, emotional, and talent development. It accounts for their life at school, at home and the places in between (extracurriculars, therapy, camps, tutoring, etc.). This parent tool includes strategies parents can utilize to work towards taking a strengths-based approach.

Educate yourself.

In addition to learning about twice-exceptionality, you may want to learn more about giftedness and your child’s diagnoses. You may also want to learn more about your district’s policies, your state’s laws and federal law. Local, regional, state and online parent or advocacy groups often provide many resources and support as you navigate the world of twice-exceptionality. A few resources to start with can be found on the 2e Guidebook: Resources and Bibliography.

While being informed is important, you can easily get bogged down in all the literature. Keep your child at the forefront. Out of your research, what speaks to their profile? What gels with your parenting style? What can you tackle now? What can wait?

Additionally, while it would be nice if all gifted organizations, learning difference advocacy groups and other support networks were well-informed about twice-exceptionality, they may not be. It can be lonely as a parent (as well as a child!), which brings us to the next step.

Assemble a team.

When thinking through how to productively intervene and advocate on behalf of your child, it can be helpful to identify potential allies and to build a support network for your child and yourself. There may be rough patches on the road forward, and it can be hard to go through it alone. Who could be these supportive allies?

• Your family. This seems obvious, but many skip the step of deliberately thinking about and discussing how each family member will support your child who is 2E. For example, one parent may be the primary point person for working with the school while another family member (the other parent, an older sibling, a grandparent) may be responsible for transportation. How will your child take charge of her education and home life? How will siblings support their brother or sister?
• The school. Schools can be great sources of support. They often have access to trained professionals that you may find helpful. The next few sections of this guidebook discuss how schools can support your child.
• Professionals. You may already have one professional that has a relationship with your child – the person who did the assessment. Depending on your child’s particular diagnoses and strengths, you may be in contact with other professionals. Many parents think about professionals as executing particular tasks (such as doing an assessment) or supporting a child in one particular area (such as improving the fine motor skills of a child who has dysgraphia). However, professionals can be so much more. How can you utilize their full body of knowledge and experience? For example, an executive functioning coach, who is assisting your child with ADHD, may be able to suggest:
  • Local groups or regional organizations to join
  • Parent resources to help you better understand your child’s way of being in the world, or
  • Activities your whole family could do together such as watching particular films that include a strong characters who struggle with attention issues.

You can also think outside of the professionals that are working specifically with your child on their areas of challenge. For example, your pediatrician may be able to give you additional tips for helping your active child fall asleep at night.

• Family friends and community members. In addition to fulfilling other roles, family friends and community members could be mentors who help your child stretch herself in an area of strength or explore new interests. They may also act as more of a social-emotional mentor. Is there someone in your circle or area that has a similar profile to your child? For example, if your child struggles with anxiety, is there another trusted adult who also struggles with anxiety? Perhaps that adult could share stories of their time in school and how they work with their anxiety. You may be able to find other adults through networks you’re already a part of such as a gifted organization, a parenting group, a faith-based institution or another association.
• Peers. You might also consider helping your child identify peer allies. Which of your child’s friends could be a good sounding board when he is facing an obstacle? Is there a classmate he could ask for help if something comes up during class? Is there a person who your child hasn’t approached but who may be a good ally?

As you start thinking about who you are already connected to and who you may also be able to connect with, hopefully you’ll find that your support network is larger than you first thought.

Evaluate the environments that your child is a part of.

Consider how each is already working for your child and if you would like parts changed to better fit her.

• Academic. How does your child’s academic environment fit their learning style? How are their strengths advanced and talents developed? How are they learning to work with their challenges and flourish with them?
• Home. How is your child’s twice-exceptionality coming into play at home? Consider how they are relating to each member of your family. What routines do you have in place? What responsibilities do they have at home? What does your child’s personal spacelook like? How does your family schedule balance the needs of all members?
• Social. What does your child’s social community look like? Does it accept them for who they are and allow them to develop their interests? It may be important to keep in mind that your child’s social circle may look different than your own and different than other children’s. Many gifted children have only a couple of strong friends. Some don’t find their tribe until they are older or attend college. Some are introverted (which lends them unique strengths). That’s okay. What’s important is that your child feels connected and supported. If they don’t, perhaps that is an area to explore more.
• Extracurriculars. What does your child do in their free time? How does that advance their interests and talents? When and how much unstructured time does your child have? What’s the balance between academic, family, social, extracurricular, therapy/support services, and free time that works best for your child?
• Therapy. Therapy is being used here in the broadest of terms to mean the ways that your child receives support. What support are they currently receiving? How is it working for your child? Who is providing support? What is their approach? Are there other areas where he needs support?

Set Goals

Once you’ve educated yourself, assembled a team and evaluated your child’s situation, you’re ready to set goals based on the information, people and resources you have.

When you and your child start setting goals, it can be tempting to set too many goals. Setting too many goals can ultimately be overwhelming and discouraging. Perhaps you can limit your goals to one per environment (home, school, extracurriculars and therapy) or a couple that can be achieved on different timelines (one that can be achieved next week, one in the next two weeks, one in the next month). Or perhaps you could break up goals according to who takes the lead (one your child focuses on and one you focus on).

Involving your child in the goal-setting process can be important as it often leads the child to have more buy-in to the goals themselves and he may be more motivated to achieve the goals.

One goal-setting rubric that many use is SMART. One version of the acronym SMART stands for:

• S – Smart: Is the goal tailored to your child? That is, is this goal really meeting your child where she’s at and is it appropriate considering her 2E profile?
• M – Meaningful: Will achieving this goal create meaningful change for your child? Is it a goal that he cares about?
• A – Action-Oriented: Can you break down the goal into concrete steps?
• R – Realistic: Is this a goal that your child can achieve in a reasonable amount of time? Will she be able to see her progress?
• T – Timely: Is this something you can do now, considering the information, people and resources you have? Is this something that your child can work on right away?

Monitor and Modify

As you implement your plans for your child, observe how these changes are affecting them. Remember that changes can often take many weeks to really take hold and produce the outcomes you were hoping for.

The Davidson Institute is here to help.

Raising a twice-exceptional child comes with unique challenges. Explore our curated collection of expert articles and guides written specifically for 2e families. Explore the Twice-Exceptional Guides >