This article is adapted from Davidson Institute’s “Twice-Exceptionality: A Resource Guide for Parents”, part of our collection of free guidebooks for gifted and 2e families. For a deeper dive into supporting your twice-exceptional child, we encourage you to explore the full guide.
Creating a meaningful social life for your child is an important aspect of his development. Children who are profoundly gifted and 2e may have difficulties feeling accepted in gifted or differently-abled communities due to the fact that they possess at least two unique needs.
It’s okay if your child’s social life doesn’t match up with that of a social butterfly. What is important is that your child has a network that supports them for who they are. For some children, this may mean having a small social circle—perhaps one or two really good friends. For others, they may have a few circles that they move between—the children that they plays soccer with, the children they do robotics with, the children they go to the homeschooling co-op with, etc. There may not be a lot of socializing outside of the activities they do with each circle, and, in that way, their social life may look more like an adult’s social scene.
Depending on your child’s unique needs, there are a range of factors to consider when planning activities outside of the school. Below are a few general tips.
Model at Home
You can begin practicing good relationships at home. Modeling conversation, providing friendship-building skills and role-playing can lay the foundations for your child’s future friendships. For example, you may want to preview social situations with your child, such as discussing possible situations that could arise on the first day back to school and brainstorming strategies for different scenarios.
Promote Self-Awareness
Just like in school, having conversations about your child’s challenges and strengths will help develop their sense of self-understanding. Coupled with self-acceptance, your child will be better equipped to recognize limitations and take healthy risks in social situations (“Helping 2e Students to Draw on Their Inner Resources,” 2013). For example, if your child knows that they have a hearing sensitivity, they can prepare for being inloud environments by bringing sound-cancelling headphones or earplugs.
Engage with Interests
What is your child excited about? Depending on your location, there may be lots of enrichment options that will allow them to interact with like-minded peers. While programs prepared to deal with your child’s unique needs may not be available, college-affiliated programs are typically equipped to make reasonable accommodations for learning and physical needs. Colleges may be good places to look for programs, classes or camps that interest your child. Don’t forget to find options that can highlight your child’s strengths. For example, for a tech-minded child, a computer programming and coding
Find Volunteer Opportunities
Volunteering may be a great place for children to interact in a meaningful way. It may be a chance to work on an issue that your child is passionate about. Volunteering can also be a way to practice social interactions, especially if given a role to fulfill or a task to complete. For example, putting together a box of donations at a food pantry could be a rewarding way to socialize with a task-oriented role.
Seek Mentorships
A mentorship is a great option for intellectual and interpersonal connections. A mentor can share academic interests as well as offer encouragement. Mentorships don’t have to be only academic; pairing your child with an older mentor who is also 2e can be a source of hope and understanding. You might try reading through the Mentoring Guidebook, published by the Davidson Institute, to learn more about beginning a mentorship.
Look to the Theater
Participating in theater productions can provide a fulfilling way to interact with others for children who have difficulty processing social information. Individuals that struggle with social situations may “find theater a welcoming home that provides comfort with the scripted interactions, and also learn about social interactions from that scripting” (Warshaw & Wayland, 2013). If your school doesn’t have a theater program, many community theaters offer acting, improv and technical theater classes throughout the school year and may also offer summer camps
Build an Online Community
Because in-person activities may be limited, online groups can serve as a social outlet too. Children who are 2E can make connections with others through online gaming forums, for example. There are also online communities specifically designed to foster connections between 2E families. As a parent, you can seek out support through organizations (such as Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG), the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC), state gifted associations, 2e Newsletter, Understood.org) and find connections to other young people through these platforms.
Think Outside of Age
You may be searching for social opportunities within your child’s classroom or grade, but it’s important to remember that friendships in both the gifted and differently-abled world often cut across age. Your child may gravitate towards older children based on maturity level or interests, just as they may gravitate towards younger children because of their openness and imagination. One characteristic that seems more universal than age is the ability to accept and empathize with one another.
Sources Cited
- Helping 2e students to draw on their inner resources. (2013). In 2e Newsletter. Retrieved from http://www.2enewsletter.com/article_2013_03_Inner_Resources.html
- Warshaw, M. & Wayland, S. (2013). Tips for parents: Gifted with challenges – understanding and supporting your twice-exceptional child. Retrieved from https://www.davidsongifted.org/Search-Database/entry/A10783
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