The following article expands on highlights and insights from one of our Expert Series events, which are exclusive for Young Scholars and their parents.
Authored by: Gail Post, Ph.D
Summary
Parents of gifted or twice-exceptional children often discover that they are gifted, too… even if their abilities were ignored when they were young. Discovering your giftedness can be an awakening; understanding how this affects both your sense of self and your parenting style can lead to greater confidence when raising your highly complex child. It can also validate how you reacted to early experiences, provide a context for why some situations were difficult, and open up to new opportunities for you in adulthood.
Consider how you discovered your own giftedness, how this affects you, and the interface with your child-raising experience. In fact, you just might be struggling with some of the same intense emotions, sensitivity, drive for excellence, multipotentiality, neurodivergence, or executive functioning challenges as your child! Giftedness can also enhance the critical thinking skills, empathy, logic, and creative approaches to parenting that can positively impact your relationship with your child.
Self-reflection through journaling, imagery, meditation, creative arts, or sharing your thoughts with friends, other parents, or even licensed mental health professionals can lead to greater understanding your giftedness, and how you approach the world differently than your neurotypical peers… just like your child. The more self-awareness you cultivate as a parent, the greater your clarity with child-raising decisions.
Tips
1. Recognize that just like your child, you are different from others. Your giftedness affects your thinking, emotions, reactivity, productivity, and interpersonal relationships, along with parenting.
2. Engage in self-reflection to learn more about your emotions, values, and motivations. Set aside time each day to explore who you are. Identify what tools help: journaling, reading, art, meditation, speaking with those you trust. Set goals for the future related to what you discover.
3. Include self-care activities that include healthy behaviors, calming practices, joyful and relational activities, and support from other professionals who can offer guidance
4. Pay attention to your personal limits, roadblocks, and activities that drain your energy, and work toward replacing them with those that energize you.
5. Consider finding a gifted parenting group, where you can find support from other parents who experience similar child-raising experiences.
Resources
Books
Here is a list of great books about giftedness:
- Cross, T. L. (2021). On the social and emotional lives of gifted children. Routledge.
- Daniels, S., & Piechowski, M. M. (Eds.). (2009). Living with intensity: Understanding the sensitivity, excitability, and emotional development of gifted children, adolescents, and adults. Great Potential Press.
- Delisle, J. (2006). Parenting gifted kids: Tips for raising happy and successful children. Routledge.
- Inman, T. F., & Kirchner, J. (2021). Parenting gifted children 101: An introduction to gifted kids and their needs. Routledge.
- Jolly, J. L., Treffinger, D. J., & Inman, T. F. (2021). Parenting gifted children: The authoritative guide from the National Association for Gifted Children. Routledge.
- Neihart, M., Pfeiffer, S. I., & Cross, T. L. (2016). The social and emotional development of gifted children: What do we know? (Second edition). Prufrock Press.
- Post, G. (2022) The gifted parenting journey: A guide to self-discovery and support for families of gifted children. Gifted Unlimited.
- Prober, P. (2016). Your rainforest mind: A guide to the well-being of gifted adults and youth. GHF Press.
- Siegel, D. J., & Hartzell, M. (2013). Parenting from the inside out: How a deeper self-understanding can help you raise children who thrive. Tarcher Perigee.
- Silverman, L. K. (2013). Giftedness 101. Springer.
- Webb, J. T., Amend, E. R., Webb, N., Beljan, P., Olenchak, F. R., & Goerss, J. (2005). Misdiagnosis and dual diagnoses of gifted children and adults: ADHD, bipolar, OCD, Asperger’s, depression, and other disorders. Great Potential Press.
- Webb, J.T., Gore, J. L., Amend, E.R., & DeVries, A. R. (2007). A parent’s guide to gifted children. Great Potential Press.
Thank you for participating in this workshop! If you need to reach me, I can be found at https://www.gailpost.com or gailpostphd@gmail.com.
Speaker Bio:
Gail Post, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, and Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. In practice for over 40 years, Dr. Post provides psychotherapy (including teletherapy in over 40 US states through PSYPACT authorization), parenting consultation, and workshops for parents and schools. Her passion for gifted advocacy increased when her children were in school, where she co-chaired a gifted advocacy group. She has written hundreds of articles about giftedness, twice-exceptionality, and mental health, including her long-standing blog, Gifted Challenges, her Substack, A Psychologist’s Perspective, articles on Medium, several book chapters, and her book, The Gifted Parenting Journey. She can be reached at www.GailPost.com.
Permission Statement
This article is provided as a service of the Davidson Institute for Talent Development, a 501(c)3 nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted young people 18 and under. To learn more about the Davidson Institute’s programs, please visit www.DavidsonGifted.org.
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