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Existential depression in gifted individuals

This article by James Webb discusses existential depression among gifted young people. He examines what it is, how it may manifest in a gifted child, and what a parent can do to help their child through these difficult feelings. He points out that gifted young people are more likely to have this type of depression because of their more highly developed sensitivities.
  • Topics
    • Social/Emotional Development: Psychological
  • Author
    Webb, J.
  • Publisher
    Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG)

It has been my experience that gifted and talented persons are more likely to experience a type of depression referred to as existential depression. Although an episode of existential depression may be precipitated in anyone by a major loss or the threat of a loss which highlights the transient nature of life, persons of higher intellectual ability are more prone to experience existential depression spontaneously. Sometimes this existential depression is tied into the positive disintegration experience referred to by Dabrowski (1996).

Existential depression is a depression that arises when an individual confronts certain basic issues of existence. Yalom (1980) describes four such issues (or "ultimate concerns")--death, freedom, isolation and meaninglessness. Death is an inevitable occurrence. Freedom, in an existential sense, refers to the absence of external structure. That is, humans do not enter a world which is inherently structured. We must give the world a structure which we ourselves create. Isolation recognizes that no matter how close we become to another person, a gap always remains, and we are nonetheless alone. Meaninglessness stems from the first three. If we must die, if we construct our own world, and if each of us is ultimately alone, then what meaning does life have?

Why should such existential concerns occur disproportionately among gifted persons? Partially, it is because substantial thought and reflection must occur to even consider such notions, rather than simply focusing on superficial day-to-day aspects of life. Other more specific characteristics of gifted children are important predisposers as well.

Because gifted children are able to consider the possibilities of how things might be, they tend to be idealists. However, they are simultaneously able to see that the world is falling short of how it might be. Because they are intense, gifted children feel keenly the disappointment and frustration which occurs when ideals are not reached. Similarly, these youngsters quickly spot the inconsistencies, arbitrariness and absurdities in society and in the behaviors of those around them. Traditions are questioned or challenged. For example, why do we put such tight sex-role or age-role restrictions on people? Why do people engage in hypocritical behaviors in which they say one thing and then do another? Why do people say things they really do not mean at all? Why are so many people so unthinking and uncaring in their dealings with others? How much difference in the world can one person's life make?

When gifted children try to share these concerns with others, they are usually met with reactions ranging from puzzlement to hostility. They discover that others, particularly of their age, clearly do not share these concerns, but instead are focused on more concrete issues and on fitting in with others' expectations. Often by even first grade, these youngsters, particularly the more highly gifted ones, feel isolated from their peers and perhaps from their families as they find that others are not prepared to discuss such weighty concerns.

When their intensity is combined with multi-potentiality, these youngsters become particularly frustrated with the existential limitations of space and time. There simply aren't enough hours in the day to develop all of the talents that many of these children have. Making choices among the possibilities is indeed arbitrary; there is no "ultimately right" choice. Even choosing a vocation can be difficult if one is trying to make a career decision between essentially equal passion, talents and potential in violin, neurology, theoretical mathematics and international relations.

The reaction of gifted youngsters (again with intensity) to these frustrations is often one of anger. But they quickly discover that their anger is futile, for it is really directed at "fate" or at other matters which they are not able to control. Anger that is powerless evolves quickly into depression.

In such depression, gifted children typically try to find some sense of meaning, some anchor point which they can grasp to pull themselves out of the mire of "unfairness." Often, though, the more they try to pull themselves out, the more they become acutely aware that their life is finite and brief, that they are alone and are only one very small organism in a quite large world, and that there is a frightening freedom regarding how one chooses to live one's life. It is at this point that they question life's meaning and ask, "Is this all there is to life? Is there not ultimate meaning? Does life only have meaning if I give it meaning? I am a small, insignificant organism who is alone in an absurd, arbitrary and capricious world where my life can have little impact, and then I die. Is this all there is?"

Such concerns are not too surprising in thoughtful adults who are going through mid-life crises. However, it is a matter of great concern when these existential questions are foremost in the mind of a twelve or fifteen year old. Such existential depressions deserve careful attention, since they can be precursors to suicide.

How can we help our bright youngsters cope with these questions? We cannot do much about the finiteness of our existence. However, we can help youngsters learn to feel that they are understood and not so alone and that there are ways to manage their freedom and their sense of isolation.

The isolation is helped to a degree by simply communicating to the youngster that someone else understands the issues that he/she is grappling with. Even though your experience is not exactly the same as mine, I feel far less alone if I know that you have had experiences that are reasonably similar. This is why relationships are so extremely important in the long-term adjustment of gifted children (Webb, Meckstroth and Tolan, 1982).

A particular way of breaking through the sense of isolation is through touch. In the same way that infants need to be held and touched, so do persons who are experiencing existential aloneness. Touch seems to be a fundamental and instinctual aspect of existence, as evidenced by mother-infant bonding or "failure to thrive" syndrome. Often, I have "prescribed" daily hugs for a youngster suffering existential depression and have advised parents of reluctant teenagers to say, "I know that you may not want a hug, but I need a hug." A hug, a touch on the arm, playful jostling, or even a "high five" can be very important to such a youngster, because it establishes at least some physical connection.

The issues and choices involved in managing one's freedom are more intellectual, as opposed to the reassuring aspects of touch as a sensory solution to an emotional crisis. Gifted children who feel overwhelmed by the myriad choices of an unstructured world can find a great deal of comfort in studying and exploring alternate ways in which other people have structured their lives. Through reading about people who have chosen specific paths to greatness and fulfillment, these youngsters can begin to use bibliotherapy as a method of understanding that choices are merely forks in the road of life, each of which can lead them to their own sense of fulfillment and accomplishment (Halsted, 1994). We all need to build our own personal philosophy of beliefs and values which will form meaningful frameworks for our lives.

It is such existential issues that lead many of our gifted individuals to bury themselves so intensively in "causes" (whether these causes are academics, political or social causes, or cults). Unfortunately, these existential issues can also prompt periods of depression, often mixed with desperate, thrashing attempts to "belong." Helping these individuals to recognize the basic existential issues may help, but only if done in a kind and accepting way. In addition, these youngsters will need to understand that existential issues are not ones that can be dealt with only once, but rather ones that will need frequent revisiting and reconsideration.

In essence, then, we can help many persons with existential depressions if we can get them to realize that they are not so alone and if we can encourage them to adopt the message of hope written by the African-American poet, Langston Hughes:

    Hold fast to dreams,
    For if dreams die,
    Life is a broken-winged bird
    That cannot fly.

    Hold fast to dreams.
    For if dreams go,
    Life is a barren field
    Covered with snow.

    Langston Hughes

References

Dabrowski, K. (1966). The Theory of Positive Disintegration. International Journal of Psychiatry, 2(2), 229-244.

Halsted, J. (1994). Some of My Best Friends Are Books: Guiding Gifted Readers from Pre-School through High School. Scottsdale, AZ: Gifted Psychology Press, Inc. (Formerly Ohio Psychology Press).

Webb, J. T., Meckstroth, E. A. and Tolan, S. S. (1982). Guiding the Gifted Child: A Practical Source for Parents and Teachers. Scottsdale, AZ: Gifted Psychology Press, Inc. (formerly Ohio Psychology Press).

Yalom, I. D. (1980). Existential Psychotherapy. New York: Basic Books.

Permission Statement

Permission to reprint this article has been granted to the Davidson Institute for Talent Development by Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG).

This article is provided as a service of the Davidson Institute for Talent Development, a 501(c)3 nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted young people 18 and under. To learn more about the Davidson Institute’s programs, please visit www.DavidsonGifted.org.

Comments

Other on 11/22/2019
Perhaps the crisis is fundamentally more philosophical than psychological. The psychological aspects - frustration, sadness, loneliness, confusion, melancholy, anger, etc. - are then the symptoms. So psychotherapy (and psychiatry) may not be the ultimate solutions for one's suffering in this case. They just treat the symptoms. Maybe helpful to reduce pain, but they don't address the deeper concerns, which are philosophical questions about value of life, meaning, purpose, and so on. So the term "existential" is good, as it references the philosophy of existentialism, where one has to confront the uncaring universe and make one's own meaning. I'm just not sure about the use of the term "depression" as it suggests something is wrong with the individual, that it's an illness, when in fact it might just be the very natural suffering response to a difficult, perhaps insoluble, situation of a meaningless reality.
Other on 10/9/2019
Namaste friends, I too have gone through periods of existential depression since I was child. When I was around 10 years old, I often asked myself if this was all there was to life? Would I grow up and just follow the same role as my mother? It all felt so cyclical to me, that I was just another mindless person added to the evolution of humanity. Currently, now 26, I find myself with strong inner conflict, as I battle between the idea of wanting to become the best version of myself, creating from my passions, and the idea of meaninglessness in all that I do. I have found that meditation really helps counterbalance existential depressing thoughts, as it helps me connect to my deeper self within (consciousness). This provides meaning and presence in my outer world. I like this quote for the meaning of life, and want to share: "The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.” - Alan Watts
Student on 9/29/2019
I'm at the beginning of developing a major existential crisis, and in consideration of the country I live in, it's quite common for a person to get some type of depression. I've always thought about huge questions (since I was little) and thought a lot in general, which resulted in panic attacks when I was nine. It was terrible, and once I started to get better, the anxiety got replaced by another, and eventually a mild depression when I was fourteen. I'm still dealing with my anxiety, but this time, I've managed to develop this type of incurable concern. It started off when I worried about worrying. I asked myself: "why do I worry so much, when none of this really matters anyway?". I thought, as an answer to that question: "Why should I worry about my education, when worrying about succeeding only leads to a lot of stress and work, and on top of that, I might not even like the job, and the result is the same either way: reproduction and death". Then I knew I was faded. My father used to ask me what the meaning of life was, and I always replied in a nonserious way, but we were both having an existential crisis. There were times when I used to care a lot about certain things, and when I got exhausted from that anxiety, it got replaced by an existential anguish. I can't deny that the questions only grew wider, trickier and worse over time, and after each crisis I had, they strengthened. I've currently used a method where you break the questions apart and find the root of the solution. What is the meaning of life? Death? Freedom? Relations? Why does it matter, after all? According to me, the purest answer, coming from a total robot would be that it doesn't. Now, think about space, materia and time. These are all the roots that the content of these questions has. The meaning of life, biologically, is reproduction and evolution. What does evolution lead to? The end of the world perhaps? And the evolution that once was created on a non-existential world is like a big black past of history, that technically doesn't exist anymore since the world blew up in flames and particles. At the end of the day, it's all in your head, and your mind is a universe without limit, except for example: that we must put an end to everything and think in x dimensions. We know much and little, and I don't want to die with a big regret. I want to die with meaning and I'm searching for it.
Student on 9/17/2019
Hey guys! I’m 17 and feel the exact same way. Sometimes I question if life is worth living or if I should give up. I’m tying myself down to my community and career path because I don’t know what else I would be doing. Feel free to reach out and talk to me at theveiledbrothers@gmail.com I want to meet other teens and “gifted” people who share my burden. Love you guys, stay strong and remember to TOUCH! It helps me, hugging a person, pillow, or animal. Keep your mind anchored sailors.
Student on 9/14/2019
I've been skimming through the other comments on here, and I agree with all of them. Like others, I'm very hesitant to call myself "gifted", but I've been in AP/Honors/Advanced programs my whole life. Around age twelve I started "thinking too much" mostly about death and my place in the universe. It wasn't so bad at first but it dragged me down into a dark place and I started seeing all the joy bleed out of my life. I thought (and still sometimes think) that life isn't worth living if all it is is being a part in some machine I can't even understand. If people are so hypocritical that they expect you to lie about how you feel all the time. So.. social stuff was hard for me, still is in a lot of respects. I've been coping with these never-ending thoughts by reading, meditating, blasting music, and excersise. It actually helps a lot. It's very heartening to know I'm not the only person who feels lonely in a crowded room, stuck inside your own skull. It's like these thoughts never turn off. To say nothing of finding friends, or anyone in my age group who struggles with the bigger questions and a need to feel... anything. My advice? Find something you like and stick to it religiously. In the last year I've started journalling every day, and it helps.
Other on 9/11/2019
I do too feel this way someone on 8-18-19 wrote about how they felt and I can honestly say man I relate with you 100% on everything you said. -jess I do too question my won existence its 12:35 am here and I just got off work and been feeling pretty down half of my day, not sure why I am feeling this way. but I find myself questioning life and what I am doing here most of times, I play guitar been playing since I was 15 years old and I am now 25 years old. I love art drawing is fun and painting I am a creative person who also loves dancing and has a passion for music. if it wasn't for music that has helped me through out my years of being on this earth oh man does it get me moving when im feeling confused or even happy. I never really liked school and I couldn't wait to be done with it that I rush rushed through it so fast. I guess you could say I rushed through so much in my life that I sometimes wished I would of waited and maybe it would of been different. I don't regret anything in life because its one f the biggest lessons I learned from if didn't make mistakes after all I am human still, but I find myself lost not sure where I am going, I just kinda feel like I am here. I am naturally funny person who make everyone laugh, always want to make sure that everyone is happy around me. Even when I am not the happiest, I guess you could say I hide my feelings to myself and don't like expressing them to anyone. I spend most of my time alone, in my room or at a park just relaxing. I don't really like being around people, but at the same time I do if its at the right place. I feel like an introvert but at times I feel like an extrovert. I think too much and the question that's always left in me is "what am I supposed to do here?" it always leaves me confused but I do know one thing is that I want to live a happy life. though being happy is hard sometimes. I know im supposed to be taking meds for what I am feeling since I go through like 100 emotions a day. funny thing is people always think im bubbly and happy as I always keep a smile on my face and a few jokes and laughter. life is beautiful for sure I cant complain much I have a roof over my head and an amazing family. but I still feel weird when im feeling this way and questioning my existence. im glad im not the only one who feels this way, I just know that there is more to life then just this.
Other on 8/18/2019
It’s just past 2am over here. Funny, I found this article from googling “chat for people with existential crisis”. This was a great read and gave me a better insight into areas of my life and personality. The thing is, I feel weird saying I am “gifted” because I don’t 100% agree with that. I just know that I think and do a little differently than other people around me. I had some very hard times focusing in school. I talked too much and was always told i had “ants in my pants”. I did well in school when I felt like it. I hardly studied and passed tests. I still hate math to this day, (numbers scare me lol). I never liked the concept of school. I felt confined. I wanted out. I remember a few weeks before my high school graduation, my family and I went out to eat and I cried because I realized I no longer would have to be in school anymore. That’s how bad I wanted to get out. I had 0 school spirit. To me, it was Groundhog Day for 18 years. Don’t get me wrong, I made great memories and cherish all the people I’ve met during that time. I left with only 2 best friends. In sophomore year I began experimenting with music production, specifically hip hop beats. Right away I knew that this was my passion. It’s been my whole life since then. I have put in years of practice and still spend hours just creating. I have made it my career and I love it. The thing is, I have made no money off it yet. I’m not mad at that, I just know I have to work harder. This is where I don’t like saying that I’m “gifted”, I just know that I’m pretty good at making beats. But after high school, I skimmed thru parts of the history of philosophy and read numerous things about old and new ideas of existentialism. I started to realize that life is pretty meaningless, that it didn’t matter what you did in life because death would come one day. But why was I so motivated to be a successful and rich music producer? I called it “optimistic nihilism” (I think it’s pretty funny). Obviously they contradict each other, but I thought maybe if nothing matters and eventually we all die, why not use that as an advantage? As in, do whatever you want that makes you happy while you’re here, because one day you will die. Reading about Steve Jobs and Epictetus made me form and mix ideas to support my own philosophy. But I think I may have gone too far. I’m not as happy as I used to be. I’m lazier, apathetic, sad, angry, frustrated, and scared. Music production only does so much. I can’t work when I get into these moments. The thing is, I mastered my mask. I show people that I’m fine. I tell people that I’m okay. I never bring up my thoughts and concerns. Instead, others come to me because in their eyes I’m so happy and have things figured out. I’m like a sponge, I soak in the worries of others. I don’t like seeing others in pain or hurt, I think that’s why comedy and laughter is my first response. Very often I see a mirror in Robin Williams. The man was a comedic genius, but underneath the mask, he was in pain. I too think the ones who laugh or make others laugh the most are hiding something. And before this article, I’ve always noticed that gifted and great people in history met undesirable fates. I think of all the rock legends who killed themselves, actors/actresses, poets, authors, painters, artists in general usually suffer the most for some reason. It’s weird. I can’t say if I’m depressed because I haven’t gotten an official diagnosis, same with ADHD or any other mental illness. I also feel whiny or needy if were to go get professional help, because I feel like for therapists and psychologists it’s “just a job”. I don’t know what I’ll do. I like to talk to the universe a lot and sometimes that helps but I just don’t know. I don’t want kids because life is just terrible. I have been with my gf for 3 years but we’ve been friends for 6. She kinda has an idea of where my head is at but not enough to see a problem. I don’t feel like confiding in anyone. I keep wanting to just delete this long post because I think it’s pointless. The only thing I have 100% confidence in to help me is music. From rock to jazz to classical to gospel to even the Chinese ehru instrument. If it invokes an emotion, than I like it. I also want to say to others that you’re not alone. Life is a marathon, not a race. Hopefully things work out.
Other on 7/13/2019
I’m just going to keep this short. I experienced this crisis a number of times in my life. I felt like what is the point to it all and how can I do something that makes a difference. When I have the flu like last week for example and I contemplated life when I was in a bad state of low energy I was completely lost and felt so alone. It was an absolutely horrible experience that caused deep pain. But after a few days I started to go out and get some sun back into my system those questions that I was asking myself seemed to be absurd. “I’m never going to do such and such in my lifetime. Blahblah blah” when I die I won’t have any idea what is happening anyway. I believe I will have moved on to that next plane of existence where the stuff in this world has no significance whatsoever. I have a YouTube channel that deals with this kind of stuff and it is also a platform that allows me to be creative and think which is what you need to do all the time if you want to avoid falling into a pit of despair. Sometimes having these episodes makes us stronger people. We wouldn’t have known this side of ourselves if we had never encountered this and we wouldn’t be able to progress in our existence. The key thing here is not to dwell on it because it is pointless www.youtube.com/therubberstudiosasmr
Student on 7/9/2019
Most of the comments are individualized assessments of how they suffer from existential depression and to what degree it reaches them. It is interesting reading these and still seeing the variety in which people deal with these things. I myself take comfort in reading these comments and wish to give my story. I have always had to deal with it from a very young age. I was obsessed with making permanence out of things belonging to an impermanent nature. I would play with action figures, but then feel like there was no point in playing with them because when I was done there would be nothing to show for it. I instead began recording the names of the action figures onto a sheet of paper and pitting them in duels with one another. The victor would then receive a tally for each win. Sometimes tournaments would be held between the greatest winners. This strange behavior only became worse. I then felt that my games were too dependent on personal taste and bias, so I would introduce dice or playing cards to make the fighting fair. Say if one fighter rolled a higher number 5 out of 9 times, he won and received the coveted tally. This still became worse. I would go periods of time where I would lose interest and do other things, get back into it a year or so later, then throw all the lists away because I was older and had made a better system, or in general did not remember the fights so I would want to redo it. It was all about creating a story, but having a tangible result from my play time. These habits followed me through the years. I found videogames around the age of 10 and they recorded your progress! So i would play these games and attempt to unlock every single thing in the game and do every thing possible. If there were multiple save slots I would fill them all with completed games, and I would never trade in or sell a game I already played. I would make lists of games I have played and ones I would want to play in the future. This was because the amount of choices were overwhelming (many games come out over the course of a year, and nobody has the time to play them all.) If I could make a list of ones that generally interest me, and update it as new ones come out, then I could feel like I would not accidentally skip over one, give me a sense of completion by crossing games off the list, and I would have a list to look at instead of feeling the need to look back over some online database constantly that recorded every game that ever came out (Which could take hours at a time.) I am now 20 years old, about to graduate with a bachelors in Philosophy (An interest based on these problems) and am in the midst of making big decisions in my life. I have been working these last few years to fight against some of these occupations and concerns. My studies have helped a lot. Festinger's dissonance theory, the writings of the french existentialists, and my own methods and techniques for controlling some of these tendencies. I can't help but still fall under their influence from time to time, and in some cases I completely give in. I have a very organized music play list that compiles my two favorite song from each album a musician I like or in general accept has put out (600+ songs) of which I search for and add to by listening to albums from beginning to end in my car (Thanks Spotify!.) I also have a tidy to do list, I have a system for learning new vocab words I glean from books I read, I have an organized library (digital and physical) a list for tattoos I would like and already have, etc. Somebody has commented saying it is a gift, and to some degree I agree. My ability to organize and sift through information is formidable. Also, I have developed the skill of explaining things in depth (I have been in search of people who understand things like this for some time and was afraid that perhaps they are everywhere but I could not communicate my own position well enough to attract their attention, so I learned how to.) There are other ways it comes up too, but this comment is long enough. These things do come in waves. Sometimes things seem not so bad and I feel very free, other times I feel suffocated by the limitations of time and schedule. I am extremely sensitive to time. I have all of these interests, and this obsessive want to complete things, but do not have the time to do it all (A thing many other comments have shared and I appreciate that.) I thing often of an analogy of Sartre: Life unfolds around him like a set of doors. For every door he walks through, an infinite amount of doors shut in his face permanently. Every decision dooms him to a life he has chosen, with no hope for what exists elsewhere. This stands out to me strongly because it is TRUE. Every decision is a sacrifice, whether it be financial, time, or other. I can also do some quick calculations in my head, which helps me none. Not too long ago I was reading a book, then stopped halfway through, and began again a month later remembering very little of what I had read. This spurned on a crisis that was hard to get through. I thought as follows "What if I did manage to read the way I wish I could, let's say a book a week. Well I am 20, so I am starting now. That would be 52 books a year, 4160 books in my lifetime IF i lived until 100 (52 X 100 = 5200, then take away a 1/5, so 1000 from 5000 and 40 from 200, then subtract 1040 from 5200.) Now let's say I remember even 10% of the books (Which I believe one remembers much less line by line, but this is an exaggeration that still results in something depressing.) That means I will only remember 416 books worth form all that time spent! What an insignificant result, and that is IF I sacrificed all of that time to read a book a week. Insert all my other hobbies, interests, necessary work, etc and shit goes downhill real fast. This leaves me feeling hopeless and bitter. Another thing stacked against me is I have a bad memory for experiences. I can remember names, dates, those sorts of things pretty well. But experiences in my life I lose quickly and most of what I do recall I am afraid I fill in most of the detail. This makes a lot of what I want to do seem meaningless if it results in something impermanent. There is so much more I want to write but if it is too long, nobody will read it :) Anyway, I have written a lot about me and could continue writing. As I said, I have found comfort in this page and all the comments. For that reason, I wish to provide my email as many of you have, please feel free to reach out. I would love to have a conversation about these sorts of things and hear about another persons experiences. Perhaps share tips and in general build that sense of community. And thank you anybody who takes the time to read this. NKIRO001@plattsburgh.edu
Student on 4/30/2019
I just read the article and all the comments from 09. I am 19 and I went through that existential depression 3 years ago. Still there are some triggers that make me go through that. But I just feel better knowing that I am not the only one who goes through these kind of things. Nowadays it's just a frustration of people not understanding me, whenever there is an emotional breakdown or mental panic attack nobody understands what I'm going through and they just see my irritation over small things.
Other on 4/25/2019
I’m 24 and I am and in the middle of a huge existential crisis and I found myself here after googling “anxiety relating to how I spend my time” “unhealthy relationship with time”. Not living up to my potential paralyses me with fear and I find myself holding different beliefs and truths each Day. I am indecisive and I feel like I’m procrastinating big life decisions and time is slipping away. I have a loving supportive mother and I grew up with her telling me that my sensitivity is a gift and that I have given her new perspectives on existence and death - but I can’t help but worry that i can’t live in modern society. I can’t make a decision on what I want to study because I worry that I will be left disinterested and stuck. What is more terrifying; freedom of choice or circumstance? I broke down to my boyfriend last night and expressed these worries - that I’m having trouble finding meaning in my life, I have so much to say and beauty to give people and I’m scared I don’t have the language or medium to touch anyone. I’m scared of living a meaningless life. He said all I can do is live authentically. Sometimes you do a full 360 and find complexity in a cliche “be yourself” - err. Writing this down has helped. Very lucky to have patient loved ones.
Other on 4/23/2019
Hi everyone, I was so suprised by this article, but even more suprised how many other people identified with it, and have felt the same as I have going through life. I finally found others who can understand what it's like. I have been feeling especially down lately. Maybe I will reach out to one of you who have offered your emails.
Other on 4/4/2019
I am 22 years old and graduated university 1 year ago. For most of my life I have struggled with the persistent thoughts on what is the meaning of life. I have always felt this intrinsic difference between myself and all others around me. Growing up and especially now in my life I feel like people don’t understand things I see/think and there is some greater universal power at hand. I agree with everything this article says and all the amazing comments people are leaving. Like others on this thread, I have never commented on anything online in my entire life (Even so much as left a review). Sometimes I find myself explaining my thoughts and no one can seem to comprehend the essence of the words I try to get across. I have felt the loneliness of no one understanding me even my own family. When I tried to put a term on what was happening I thought that it was almost 'Existential Depression'. Seemingly enough I have never heard of this word or even googled it before it started to ring in my mind. I have never brought my ideas of actual existentialism and relativity of our life and actions into conversation with my family or friends because from tried (and failed) attempts. I try to ease into a conversation to see how people think and react to the subtleties of my words. I try to truly understand, when in deep conversation, if someone has the true innate thought of existentialism or more of a facade. People I have met in don’t seem to understand or comprehend the notions of life I try to get across. I live a very normal life with a good job and good family/friends but feel like I have this unnerving pressure in my chest at all times of the day. Although I don’t see it as being depressed I see it as being different (in a good way). We get a perspective on life that some will never be able to see. We can view the world and our own wellbeing in a way to empower ourselves and our natural gifted ability. We essentially transcend reality by being able to comprehend the beginning of existence and life as we know it in terms people can’t even imagine (literally other people sometimes don’t understand our thoughts). The universe we live in only exists in our laws of physics. Time is inescapable, but time only exists now and in our ever-expanding solar system. Prior to the big bang there was no time. Therefore, there was no prior to the big bang. It in an incomprehensible plane of reality that ���existed’. We live in a reality that we created. It is not a depression but the more I think about it is a gift. Having the gift of existential thought allows us in our lives to ultimately understand, analyze, and operate in almost a different time and space in history that only other like-minded individuals operate. This in turn gives me the peace of mind of free will. After reading what everybody has written it is like other analogies I have read, I have been color blind my whole life and now I can see in color. My thoughts of existentialism and meaning of life has tied me to a deep thought into the universe, the cosmos, and life. It is hard for me to express my thoughts in writing and therefore this is the first time I have ever done this. I feel the need to share because as I get older (I do know I’m still very young) these thoughts have propelled me to view life differently but also embrace the gift I, and others, have been born with. Although I can feel alone like many others I know now that I am not alone, but I am together with a group of like-minded people traveling through life and time in a unique perspective and great appreciation for what we have. There is a 1 and 400 trillion chance to be born a sentient human being on earth and I am thankful for the eye opening luck and thought on life, and everything we have in it, to enjoy it.
Student on 3/29/2019
God there are a lot of comments here and they really made me feel not so alone and in the dark. I totally agree with what some others commented that I feel like none of my friends and other people understand my mind and thinking. Like I just stayed home from school for a week, I’m 15, and like I did not even know why, I just started thinking that there is no point and I just can’t ignore the thougts of existence and why everything happens and why people behave in surtain ways. My parents just don’t understand these things and they just think I’m crazy or depressed and say that ”everyone goes through hard things”. Its just really hard to express my thougts and feelings sometimes, I have tried therapy but it did not really work. This is getting really long but yeah if anyone wants to talk about these things it would be cool. Bye
Other on 3/23/2019
Wow what an article. Fascinating to read all of the comments here also. I am a 30 year old who has dealt with existential dread regularly since childhood and now at 30 I’m going through it very strongly, especially the reality of death which feels like it’s here right now. What is the point or meaning of life to me? Well, we are here to simply experience, to have fun, to play, learn, to grow and to appreciate. We are the universe experiencing itself in the form of a sentient human being. We scientifically all come from stardust, from the Big Bang, we are literally “all one.” There is no differentiation between each of us, nature, the universe - It’s like one giant organism - it’s only the ego that creates this illusion of separation and that illusion of separation really influences feelings of isolation, of pointlessness. The Remy quote comes to mind “You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop.” I believe this with conviction, especially as this idea is actually backed by science. I like to think outside the box a bit but also love logic and evidence based theory. These are just my thoughts but they do bring me great peace. What has also helped me with understanding myself (and so understanding others and my place in the world) has been plant medicine and psychedelics. These are very powerful tools. Anyone here feel free to email me for a chat, I’d love to speak with likeminded people. louisafburns88@hotmail.com
Parent on 2/20/2019
My son is 11 years old and his existential questioning has been evident since he was 7 years old. One time when he was about 8 years old he asked if we ever wondered the answer to the question "who am I?" He has asked so many profound questions not common for his age. It is sometimes difficult to deal with his questions but your article has given me some insight and wisdom. Thank you. My key lessons: 1. Touch is a powerful assurance of existence. 2. They are gifted and potentially will experience depression every now and then. 3. Show them what a purpose drive life is about
Student on 2/14/2019
Wow. Thank you and bless everyone who reads this. You put into words what i could not. Wow
Other on 1/13/2019
This is the first thing I have ever come across that has ever even come close to describing the labyrinth of my mind. It is almost like taking a breath for the first time or seeing colour. I am eternally grateful for these words!
Other on 1/12/2019
To 'Other on 1/10/2019'. I absolutely loved reading your comment - yep, yep and yep. My soul recognises yours or, we speak the same language; whichever suits. Willful existentialism has been my passport to exiting the social construct by deeply scrutinising (internally and externally) the big paradigms like, 'hope, success, purpose' and the big one, 'meaning'. Why does anything have to have meaning? Having broken down (still breaking down) these artificial programs in myself, I thank the heavens I have a strong support network around me to catch me as I return again and again to dust only to fall 'meaninglessly' through the cosmos! Thank you for this amazing article and for your brilliantly insightful comment.
Other on 1/10/2019
Wow! Thank you! I am old and this has applied to me more and more regularly but manifested early.... Nowhere near as smArt as gifted folks here but.... Born with distinctive past life recall in which existence vs essence .... And where there WAS great depth of wisdom in the past .... Like... Having to learn how one gets the proper body and finds one's people.... I was supposed to be an adult and with people who had deep emotional intelligence and committment to the sanctity... That wholeness... Of life.... And much of my life has been lived in an empathic fog... Not sure which emotions are mine or where boundaries exist since I had a spiritual awakening, which was before a serious life altering mishap involving nervous system. Ho hum. For all who feel disconnected from meaning, a very fabulous healing experience is offered by Reconnective therapy. If it is done to the height of it's potential, it WILL be a life-changer!!!! It WILL rearrange things in a supra conscious fashion AND bring forward the REASONS for those existential feelings, which will have a concrete earthbound feel again. Earth is a cramped existence, psychically speaking. Consciousness has no end, and the bodily experience can really be a harsh reality!! Combine that with genius? Hmmm. Glad I didn't have more than just smart going on or I could have wound up dead before 10 given the violence of my childhood home. Thank you for this post. My therapist looked at me like I was nuts when I said, can you establish for certain that existence is superior to, ie, better than, no existence? To me, and to Buddha, nonexistence of the self... There is no self... Just experience ... Seems a very real comfort. Intelligent people are the ones who can get a whiff of ghost behind the apparent solid world without really putting too much effort into it... But if one also realizes the self is also a ghost... And then there is that beautiful return to that unconditional Unity... Meditation may be the only way to end the cycle... The quest for meaning is just a fairy tale. Lovely ... But what is really meaning? To hold the hands of a living creature, to be present in another's suffering, to gently caress what is sentient... To relate so deeply to the world that it is one with one's beating heart. Yeah. One such moment is a universe of meaning. Thank you all for being part of this world, and this moment, and for all meaning you embody in all ways.... And for sharing your beautiful selves on this forum. Sorry for blabbing. May all experience whatever would be liberating, enjoyable, satisfactory, and durable without reference to relative conditions, if ever such is or could be possible... And on absolute terms, may it be kind, loving, and gentle... There being so much sharp and acrid in intellect if one is not careful about rounding it out and making it also a bit gritty and humorous and fun. Fun has its place!! I may get some bubbles tomorrow and treat myself to just letting go......
Other on 1/5/2019
To student 9/24/2018. I just recently learned a really interesting word. Solipsism. You know how when you learn something new it seems to pop up everywhere you go all the time after that? This is like that! Haha 😆! So: Solipsism is the philosophical idea that only one's own mind is sure to exist. As an epistemological position, solipsism holds that knowledge of anything outside one's own mind is unsure; the external world and other minds cannot be known and might not exist outside the mind. Good luck my friend. I myself have been in a continuous state of existential metamorphosis, wishing that I would just figure it out already!
Educator on 1/5/2019
Like so many who have posted, this has been my experience from a very young age. I hope this helps someone: Eventually, I came to feel that my hope for and conception of meaning was the last barrier to peace. At last I asked myself, “What if you do accept that the only meaning is the meaning you create and that since three is nothing else for it you get busy creating it? Is there a good? What to you is “good?” There is your purpose: increase the good. Make life better when, where and as you can for others.” Accepting the limitations of time when you know you can do almost anything (and love doing almost everything) is now the most depressing bit to me. But, at least I can embrace my “purpose” as a replacement for a futile idea of “meaning.” The temporary nature of forms is a bummer, but I when those thoughts arise, I think of increasing the good as the only affirmative response that has any... meaning.
Other on 12/11/2018
This is the closest thing I have read to how i feel every day. I can't mention it to anyone with out them completely misunderstanding what I am saying. I try to tell them, I get this pain in my chest everytime I think about past relationships, that it's the only relationship we will have with that person. That we can't go back, I can't start over, I will never be complete. I feel like, I am a body, bones, blood, lungs, breathing every day, just to die, to be nothingness. Why do I feel this way, i have a good job, an amazing boyfriend, great friends, but no matter what I have no one. I feel alone.
Student on 11/19/2018
Wow. This is me. Suffering from this sort of thinking is something that I've come to terms with more recently as an underlying source of many of my mood swings. One minute, I'm writing (writing is kind of the "cause" that I've buried myself in, along with drawing and singing), and the next, I'm wondering what the point is. I've always tried to stomp existential thoughts out of my mind because I saw them as counter productive and stupid, especially because I'm 12 and shouldn't be thinking about these things, but it's really something that I can't ignore as this point. The comments and the article make me feel so much less alone. This description is spot on and makes me cry every time. Thank you.
Student on 11/18/2018
Thank you so much for this article. This is my first time ever commenting on anything online but I really am very grateful for this. I'm 15 years old and I always feel like my world inside of my head is miles away from the world everyone else is living in. I haven't found anyone who thinks and sees things like I do so reading all the comments here is just insane and incredibly comforting. I really appreciate everyone sharing their experiences so I thought I'd do the same. Whoever you are, you're not alone, trust me.
Student on 9/24/2018
This is the first time I'm commenting on a blog on internet. I've been through this so called existential crysis from a long time, which I read might even be a side effect of ocd(the disease which is the most important thing in my life in both good and bad ways), and what I do to overcome this everytime is that I just think to myself, the only conscious being in this world is me and rest all humans are programmed to behave the way they do (even they are programmed to say they are conscious) and they too don't know about it. And I'm the only one who is truly conscious and truly human and thus every single thing I do counts and is the only thing that counts in this universe. This kind of thinking gives me a reason to live, everytime. Just think like this deeply. Hope it helps. PS : This all might be true because the only person I've lived as is me.
Other on 8/12/2018
My gawd! I'm 37 now but this is me. From as early as I can remember. I still struggle daily with it. Wow.
Student on 8/5/2018
I take comfort in the fact that death is inevitable as it leads me on to think that nothing ultimately matters. With this, the social pressures, expectations. and worries no longer bothers me. In fact, I feel rather free. This idea has allowed me to do things, take risks, and be fearless. It is a notion that livens me.
Other on 6/13/2018
Hello, I know it's a bit late to comment but I would like to thank you so much for the post! I finally understand my thoughts and emotions and what it is. What do I do now?
Other on 5/29/2018
Keep this website up - for eternity. It'll help fellow nihilists get a sense that they aren't alone in this - regardless of the space and time they read this article in. email: yashkadel@gmail.com
Other on 5/17/2018
Hello everyone! Like many of you, I have struggled with the sense of meaningless of everyday surface life since I was a very young child. I felt all this ordinary life stuff was not for me; I was in search of deeper truth, deeper harmony. The most important thing, I think, is to know you are not alone in your, sometimes desperate or frantic, search for meaning. The other point I have to offer is that having such an active mind can make it hard to find balance between struggling to solve life’s riddles, and accepting that they may not be solved today. :-)
Student on 4/21/2018
Wonderful article. I never bothered looking into how I felt until now and I was very pleased to find an article that accurately depicted the struggles I'm going through at the time. This article gave me a sense of security no amount of hugs could ever give.
Other on 4/4/2018
The outreach of others in the comments for no other reason than support and a chance to express oneself has moved me deeply. After perusing the article and comments, I decided to reach out to one of these individuals. I had no idea what it was that I needed to say, yet it turned into a three page email that included insight into my past and current difficulties with existential depression. Because of this, I would like to follow the example those before me have set and offer my email for any who needs it. It is encouraging to see such kindness. tstill0607@gmail.com
Student on 3/20/2018
I read this a couple of months ago and like many of the others who have commented below, it brought me to tears. I frequently visit this page and read the second paragraph. Specifically... "If we must die, if we construct our own world, and if each of us is ultimately alone, then what meaning does life have?" Reading the comments gives me a sense of community and hope. Maybe I do not have to be "ultimately alone." I have been trying to connect with individuals who suffer from what my University's therapist once called an "existential crisis." I would love to hear from anyone who feels compelled. My email is mourerkianna@gmail.com.
Other on 1/30/2018
I've felt like this since childhood. It's profoundly saddening and isolating to find life, all life in the universe, meaningless and without intrinsic value. My own life has no inherent meaning, every action I take is trivial, the entirety of the human species is trivial when confronted with the vast nothingness of the unknowable universe and the endlessness of time. I wish I was ignorant of it.
Parent on 1/27/2018
Thanks for this. I began my journey at 7 and still struggle in middle age. I see it in my 8 year old now and while he's not going to be able to crawl into my lap much longer, I can support him in a way that was missing from my own life. It's hard to be an elementary kid questioning the point of anything while everyone else seems focused or content. I prefer to start working on coping strategies now than wait until I'm faced with the volatility of a nihilistic 15 year old convinced life is complete arbitrary nonsense.
Student on 11/30/2017
Yes. If anyone has heard of a little group called IB then they certainly relate to this. In my experience, adopting a sort of optimistic-nihilism seems appropriate.
Other on 11/27/2017
The most wondrous thing about this article is the author's ability to accurately express in words how we all truly feel. I refer to 'we' not strictly as 'intellectually gifted children', but as anyone who has had the misfortune of enduring such existential thoughts in their lives. I do not wish to discredit the author, and I'm sure there is overwhelming evidence that 'gifted' individuals may experience this much more than others, but if you're reading this article and these comments, you came here for answers and consolidation. I was 14 when I had my first anxiety attack regarding the existential question of human mortality and meaninglessness. I cried to my mum in fear, saying things like 'I don't want to die, it's not fair' etc. Knowing that she was there for me to listen was good enough at the time, and I was able to 'get over' my bout of depression within a short period. These feelings have come and gone over the years, in forms of small anxiety attacks, but the more serious ones have been extremely infrequent. I am now 21 years old and have recently experienced probably the worst episode to date. Every waking moment of the day I constantly, and without purpose or intention, reflect and contrast every aspect of life to the reality of meaninglessness. It wears me down, it bothers me, it upsets me and I want to relieve myself of this state of mind. This time I have been unable to use myself to overcome these fears and have opened up to my family. They have been unbelievably supportive, but no matter how many times they say to me "you're not alone, other people feel this way", it never quite satisfies me, so here I am. After reading these comments... I cried. I cried so much, and not from sadness but a whole range of feelings. There is comfort. Comfort that your stories are so similar to mine... almost identical. It was so surprisingly reassuring to learn this that I can't help but cry as I write this. The simple fact that my mind has had a whole 15 minutes of mental relief from the constant barrage of negative and depressing thoughts is overwhelming. Thank you for writing this article. Thank you for reading this comment. Thank you to everyone for sharing your experiences, questions, feelings, and fears. I rarely leave comments, but today is a different day. This page has been bookmarked, because if I ever need to return to it, I know that it will provide some level of comfort and peace. If anyone wants to reach out to me just email me at alastair.wuth@gmail.com. Thank you again, I hope you are able to find solace in just one more experience shared here.
Student on 11/17/2017
I've experienced this throughout my life, though I only came across this article when I was about 14. It helped me to come to terms with the fact that other people think about the same things that I do. Sometimes, the world feels so alone because no one that I physically see knows how it feels to feel this way. Many people consider it to be overdramatic and simply expect me to get on with my life. I'm 16 and graduating high school this year and I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I feel as if everything except for research has no meaning but research is a difficult field of employment to get into. My school offers no support to anyone who who doesn't want to be a doctor or businessperson and I have no direction in my life. I too am interested in how individuals live as adults because I need a model to look up to in order to provide me with a sense of direction.
Educator on 11/15/2017
Thank you for the article. I definitely fall inside this experience! And I appreciate the inquiry. I am an adult now. I have to say that it occurs as exclusive to say that only gifted children often have this experience. Who is to say that? It could be a bit presumptuous. I do believe it is it the result of being alive on the planet and some people are simply more sensitive to it than others. I find comfort and camaraderie in hearing others share their experience. I have found that transformation work has helped such as Landmark Worldwide. Thanks for all that shared.
Student on 11/15/2017
I have stumbled upon this article many times throughout the past couple of years, as I go in an out of periods of intense existential questioning. Each time I come back, I always fascinated in reading the new comments that are shared. I thought I would leave a comment too. I just want to say hello, fellow human. Though we will likely never meet, I have felt a connection to you through our shared disconnection with life. You make me feel less alone in my thoughts. I hope to meet someone like you someday and I wish you the best :)
Other on 11/7/2017
When I was young, and still to this day, I have moments where I feel like everything I'm doing is pointless because all I'm going to do is die. Even if I do make a mistake, or even if I choose the right path that leads me to a brilliant life, still my life would have been so small. What if I had chosen a different career? Would it have been better? I won't ever get the chance again. I think about what I've done with my life, and how short life is, and it makes me angry and sad thay I've wasted my time doing such trivial things. And yet, at the same time, I know that it will make no difference in the end, because I will die. Vanish, unknown and not remembered. When I was a child, I remember crying in fear to myself one night, and telling my parents "I don't want to die." I got told that I was being silly and I wouldn't die, but still now I fear the endless abyss. Why is life so short? Why even start it if all that will happen is it will get snatched away. I don't know if I'm smart enough to be some gifted child. I don't think I am. But I can at least relate to some of this.
Student on 10/2/2017
Thank you so much for this article! I have dealt with this existential crises since I was asked the big question earlier in my teens, "what is next?" I can never forget everyone's reactions in the room. It is until later I realized I could not forget about it. Then I continued to ponder on this one for the years to come...everyday becoming a bigger concern and leading me sometimes to a state of depression and fear. To think that it started as something small. I wish my family would have realized about this gift. Now, I'm in my 20s, I'm still looking for answer to my questions and am pleased to read this article. It's been very helpful.
Educator on 9/28/2017
One of the earliest memories I have is feeling so sad because I couldn't live everybody's lives haha - to this day I have trouble focussing on one thing at a time.
Student on 9/22/2017
I would like to thank you for conducting this research, for I have always felt that those around me were simply oblivious to these questions in my mind. To me, these questions seem extremely worrisome and important, but others seem to be blissfully unaware of them. I have felt alone in this struggle, but this article has helped to assure me of two things. The first being that others do have these thoughts, and the second being it is a quality of exceptionally gifted young people. What I would like to follow up on, however, is what are the adult lives of these people like? Do the same issues persist? Become worse? Quell themselves? Also, how many kids with this conundrum end up taking the easy way out? Once again, I appreciate your paper, and if willing, I would love to have a chat with you.
Other on 9/3/2017
Thank you for this article--it's already helped me so much. Since around the age of 10 or so, I've been both depressed and consumed by the big existential questions. But I think it makes more sense to see these issues as tied together in the concept of "existential depression" because it describes me in a way that the individual parts don't fully explain. I wish I had a resource like this when I was a teenager; it would have been incredibly useful to share with others (especially parents). It's comforting to read everybody's testimonials. I did cry quite a bit while reading, and it was all the more heartwarming to know that others did too. Also, I appreciated the bit about the importance of touch, and I'm glad others shared about that too. I have always been incredibly stimulated and comforted by physical touch. Communication rarely makes me feel less isolated, so maybe physical contact can effectively relieve that feeling of isolation since it doesn't depend on thought. I just wanted to say, as far as coping with this stuff goes, I've managed to find a few really great solutions (though applying them is not always so easy). First, meditation. There are lots of kinds, but it can help you to clear your head (to push aside the questions), develop compassion for others (to avoid getting frustrated by feeling misunderstood), and develop appreciation (to focus more on all the small, wonderful parts of life). Second, reading. People like us are rare, but we're massively over-represented among philosophers, religious thinkers, poets, and novelists. I find a lot of solace in reading these folks. (Epictetus, Schopenhauer, and Kafka have been among the most friendly to me.) Third, finding a way to make yourself useful to the world. This is different for everyone, and takes a while to figure out. We're good at, and interested in, lots of things. So I'd say: Choose the path that makes the greatest contribution to the well-being of others. And if there are a few options still, then it doesn't matter. More important than making the "right" choice in this situation is being able to live with it.
Student on 7/16/2017
I'm only 14, but I didn't know quite why I have been asking these questions. I have bouts of what I now understand to be existential depression quite frequently, in fact, and have been having them since I was five years old, though they were much less frequent back then. I don't really get any support or help with these issues, but they truly do have a very big effect on my life and I'm glad that it's not just me, and I'm not just crazy and unable to let myself fall into compliance with what all the other kids are doing. This article helped a lot with understanding, at least, although I don't think that it'll just go away after reading an informational article. I think I'll end up showing this to my mom, seeing as maybe it'll help her to understand more why I've been like this all these years, and I'm sure it will give her some sort of peace of mind in knowing that it's not just me, similar to how I'm feeling now.
Student on 7/7/2017
thank you so much for this article.For the past 2 years,ive been asking these very same questions(I'm turning 19),and I still find myself pondering on questions and reasons that simply have no answers.I strongly feel that this has also had an impact on my academics and just..life in general...and,to prove that touch may be a factor,im a border and unlike my most of my teenage friends,im single..and I must say..the depression feels a bit more intensified because of the absensce of my parents and just real friends. Thanks to your article,im staring to see my line of thought in a positive light...and perhaps as I grow both in mind and spirit..ill get the answers..in fact,im positive I will:)
Student on 6/10/2017
I wish my parents had read this when I was growing up. I had these exact feelings from about the age of 14 and have continued to have them all my life. I am now 41. I found the poem quoted in the article very depressing. I guess I have reached a point where I feel I no longer have any dreams and am worried about the future. However, my main reason for commenting is to say that this is not just a childhood or teenage thing and I find the reference to the mid-life crisis slightly demeaning. If you feel this way as a child due to your ability to reflect more deeply than those around you then the chances are that you will always feel like it. Although it is difficult to live with, remember that it is not a disability. It is a gift and you need to find a way, with the support of teachers and parents to make the most of your creativity and intellect. The sooner you recognise this and get support the sooner you can get on the right track and start making a great contribution to the world. Perhaps even make it a better place. This must be a great feeling.
Student on 6/5/2017
Just because you understand why something happens doesn't answer the problem. Only something bigger than ourselves, something outside of ourselves, can hold the truth. Hugs are nice, but they don't solve it, it just means you have company in this crappy problem. If we hunger for something that is not satisfied in this world, maybe we are made to be fulfilled by something outside of it. (c.s. Lewis) It would be strange if we developed a hunger for something outside of ourselves if we were the only thing around us. Do "normal" adults and "normal" kids never think about this? Is it really so easy to walk around with your head in a cloud? There has to be a point. I feel like this article just comes up with creative ways to move boxes around in an attic. It makes things look different, but truly changes nothing.
Student on 5/27/2017
I want to thank the author and everyone that commented for your meaningful words. Even if it has always been clear to me that I'm not the only one to experience these thoughts, it is comforting to remind myself of that. I've been haunted by these feelings for nearly half of my relatively short life now. I'm impressed how truthfully this article portraits them. I was particularly touched by the part about the role of physical touch, as it reminded me of my aversion to being touched back when I tended to use general denial, suicidal ideation, and other forms of intensifying the emotional pain to get some sense of control as a 'coping strategy'. Now, when I'm getting more and more certain that the feelings of existential uncertainty will never leave me, I try to rather accept their presence, accept the structure of my mind and self, and try to create something worthwhile within it. Wish a meaningful life to everyone ;)
Other on 5/25/2017
I have struggled with these feelings from a very early age. I can't remember a time where I wasn't analyzing everyone and wondering why they care about meaningless nothings, rather than important things in life. I am 19 now. There was a day last summer where I went to a friends house. She was my best friend for a while and her family was like a second family to me. I haven't spoke to any of them since that day. Both parennts, my friend, her sister, and her sisters friend were all in a room with me, after having dinner. I just sat there and really listened to what they werell talking about. They rambled about the Kardashians, new fashion, the Bachlor, and I couldn't join the conversation even if I wanted too. All adults in the room, and not one was capable of talking about something meaningful. I found myself welling up and excused myself to cry in the bathroom. I had such overwhelming thoughts and I wanted to be alone in my bed at home. When I came backk they all were watching the finale of the Bachelor. They didnt even notice I was gone, and screamed at the reality show as if it meant so kuch to them. I left and went home. I havent made any real relationships with anyone since. I am too hesitant to have human interaction. I am afraid of my future and dont know what my life is to become. Right now it feels like nothing, so why would it change?
Student on 5/21/2017
I'm very grateful that i found this entry, i was having an existential crisis and thought of writing down how i felt and this post came out, it is comforting to see other people around the world that feel almost the same feeling with me, even if they are anonymus, i hope you are all are okay! (sorry, english isn't my first language)
Student on 4/11/2017
I am actually so glad I am not alone... I am 16 and this all started when I was 15. I know very very more than the other students I know, I always informed myself on the internet about science and I found some very deep things that broke my religious spirit, yes I was religious, from a religious (liberal of course) family... I am still in deep existential crisis about the absurdity of life, I have deep fear of what comes after death, the mere thinking of eternal darkness is turning me insane, but I have it all the time... I hope this article is right and I get out of it soon...
Student on 4/3/2017
When I was about 8 or 9 years old I cried to my dad, telling him I couldn't deal with the ultimate monotony and routine of my life. I felt it depressing and pointless to go to school every day, same time, same place, same people, come home, eat dinner and practise spellingsIt all felt pointless to me, I felt trapped by the patterns. I then went on to idealise a very plain friend from school, she was very neat and tidy, with consistent grades and she lined her pencil case with a plastic bag so that the pencils didn't mark it. I would wake up in thee morning and wish I was her, she seemed perfect and unbothered by the issues for routine and meaninglessness. To escape these feelings I would read solidly for hours, for then that would be my escape, a different world. Now I'm 19 and I alike all of you in this comments section can relate to this article and still feel the same struggle. It lays dormant but comes and goes, amazing to think it can be attributed to power.
Other on 3/5/2017
I went through this to a "T". From the frustration of multi-potentiality to the exploratory thoughts of suicide at 12. and to say I was intense would be quite an understatement haha. I had no idea this collection of words or phrases could even exist. Even at 28, I find I am still dealing with some lesser traces of this. My cause was an impossible herculean task that led to coming face to face with my deepest demon: Self-acceptance.
Student on 3/3/2017
Hold fast to dreams, For if dreams die, Life is a broken-winged bird That cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams. For if dreams go, Life is a barren field Covered with snow. Langston Hughes Sometimes we just have to let the snow fall, to give the barren field something, if anything.
Other on 2/28/2017
Try "Comfortable with Uncertainty" by Pema Chodron. It helps bring meaning to life by learning to appreciate the "now" and accept shifting emotions.
Other on 2/19/2017
Thanks a lot for this article. It's a big help. I had my first crisis at 5 when I realized that adults may be wrong and that the results of those decisions may be destructive. From that point on, I choose to go with what I FEEL is right instead of what I was told. It was difficult in the beginning but it was totally worth it. Choosing what I feel is right for me made me totally, really alien like totally, different from others, so different in fact that they called me ''stranger''. So forget about the sense of belonging, there wasn't any. Instead I had ACCEPTANCE. By being true to myself, by embracing my difference, by accepting others the way they are, I gained acceptance. Meaning, it doesn't matter whether you are gifted or not, it doesn't matter if you are different or not, you are simply being yourself, a human being. You care enough to accept yourself the way you are and you care enough to accept others the way they are. With acceptance of myself and others, something magical happened. I became able to find common grounds with others and found myself surrounded with loved ones.
Other on 1/18/2017
I also live in this type of thought process ever day, all the time. Sometimes i'm afraid to get to focused on trivial things because I haven't "solved" this problem yet. I no longer want to waste my time on video games or small minded time suckers. Everyone i know has no problem wasting day after day on meaningless musings that provide no real eternal joy, only momentary pleasure, i know will not last. I'm interested to know; how many of you had religious experiences as young children? did you go to church as a young child? I believe that it's this kind of thinking, 'what's my purpose', that is the very proof you have awoken and when your spirit is desiring to emerge from this limited dream that is life. I believe that is what "the holy spirit" is. its that awareness that we could be made so much better but were not. I mean let's embrace this wisdom. I say it's the people who DON'T seek purpose who are crazy. Not us. I look inside to what I want. I'm willing to bet most of you feel a strong desire to obey your morality and be the best you can be. How diligently do you commit yourself to satisfy this inclination? "Do unto others" have you ever asked why you feel like this? I tell you it's the holy spirit and it's real. Look to God and you will get your purpose i swear. at least i did
Student on 12/5/2016
I am also grateful to have stumbled across this entry. And I'm grateful for each and every one of you who have commented as you are all reminders that I am not alone in this. I find It really comes down to taking a different approach and defying our own negative nature because it certainly exists in all of us. We can start by finding things to be grateful for in every waking day. Those little bonds of meaning we create are what will help us remain throughout time. When we do that we use our power to give meaning and to create our own happiness. I feel like part of the existential crisis is the result of misuse of our power. But we should recognize that it's inherent that when we can't find answers on the on the outside we turn in on ourselves and if we don't have the strong foundation to answer or create the answers to our own questions it looks like doom . But if we take the time to give our own lives meaning based on what we know deep down in our hearts and based on our early childhood experiences (cz I know none of us experienced a perfect one) it gives us some direction on where we actually need to go. Which is scary sometimes because you may feel that you won't fit into the "norm" you've created for yourself by doing so. But you've already felt like the outcast so why not just go all out and seek your stability and happiness while doing it if it doesn't harm anyone else. We weren't put here to be clones of society. Peace and love!
Student on 11/23/2016
I just keep finding reasons why it would have generally been safer for me to be born in some primitive community, existentially speaking. I've always been sure that there are people who feel the same, as I've never considered myself anybody special, however gifted and multipotential I heard I was. Despite that, I come back to this article from time to time to remind myself about it and establish some kind of connection with you all for a while, even though you're anonymous; it's comforting. The article pretty much summarises what I've have to deal with all my relatively short life, from isolation to anxiety and nihilism that seem to be staying with me forever. Take care.
Other on 11/21/2016
Its really hard to overcome, especially when you can't do much about it. I started mine when I was 6-7 and it was brought on by the separation of my parents, I just messed around in School and educated myself and ended up a better person for doing so, I couldn't be educated as they were violating my freedom, I couldn't open up any other paths, Which I noticed really early on due to financial difficulties, the family house was sold, my financial future was gone and I had no lifeline. I saw everything as pointless and felt alone for a very long time, often isolating myself as I couldn't relate and experience emotions on the same level as many of my fellow pupils, I found comfort in a few people but for the most part I was antisocial unless I had some alternative motivation to be social. I just wish the internet was around "To the degree it is today" as I would of been able to learn more, but having Dial up at the time. Either way I gave meaning to my life by living it how I wanted to, I used my time to study people, I got involved with various people with the sole intention of seeing how the justify crimes etc, wondering what made them tick. I have a bit more of a positive outlook now, but it wasn't easy. Out of curiosity, did anyone else experience it young enough to physically be able to alter things like for example, "Having a poker face" I managed to craft a deep voice and a poker face, I'm always called straight faced and I am incredibly hard to read, my girlfriend is baffled by it, I'll come back and read this soon enough, so it would be nice to hear a similar story. Goodluck if you're having one :)
Student on 10/30/2016
Yeah, I overcame this type of depression at 17 with a little help from the great philosophers and religious figures of the past. That and positive music is a winning combo.
Student on 10/12/2016
I am exceptionally relieved there's some time of term for this regardless of whether it is made up or real. I've felt a deep rooted depression because of my realization of reality. I feel like nobody is genuine nor passionate almost as if everything is just made up. I've been bored with my life with nobody to relate to. I used to go out and party all the time before I put my brain into use and now I just reflect on what I deem as pointless. I prefer staying at home and doing things by myself then socializing with my old friends that don't have a care in the world. The only genuine happiness that I have felt was by reading this article and the comments below 😊 I am 19 so it is difficult to genuinely find a mind that thinks alike at this age
Student on 10/7/2016
Thanks for this. I went through this kind of depression for about a year and although it doesnt affect me anymore, its always nice to see someone helping others. Definitly with something I can relate so closely to.
Student on 10/5/2016
Thank you so much for this article. I thought I was the only one experiencing these type of episodes, but it's good to know I'm not the only one. The paragraph about needing touch is spot on. People think it's weird how touchy feely I am, but I crave physical contact and I go through these depressive states if I don't have enough contact with people. It's good to know I'm not alone in this.
Other on 8/17/2016
One last point regarding the claim that "Death is an inevitable occurrence." The following excerpt from "The Pleasure of Finding Things Out: The Best Short Works of Richard Feynman" isn't the only place I've come across such a rebuttal as this in writing, but it's one of the more recent I've found, and it's certainly not a new idea, in any case. Also, I just love Feynman for his candid whimsy, and hope you might too. "It is one of the most remarkable things that in all of the biological sciences there is no clue as to the necessity of death. If you say we want to make perpetual motion, we have discovered enough laws as we studied physics to see that it is either absolutely impossible or else the laws are wrong. But there is nothing in biology yet found that indicates the inevitability of death. This suggests to me that it is not at all inevitable, and that it is only a matter of time before the biologists discover what it is that is causing us the trouble and that that terrible universal disease or temporariness of the human's body will be cured." Food for thought.
Other on 8/16/2016
I leave this comment in an attempt to help. I think one of the most difficult things (gifted) people struggle to cope with is the need to accept the world as it is, despite its many perceived flaws. Sagan said it like this in episode 11 of his Cosmos series, in reference to the evolution of New York City: "It might be more efficient if all civic systems were periodically replaced from top to bottom, but, as in the [biological evolution of the] brain everything has to work during the renovation. So the city mostly adds new parts while the old parts continue, more or less, to function." The efficiency argument is debatable. It might be more efficient on its own once the effort to replace everything is done, but this comes at the high cost of shutting everything down in the meantime. Further, improvements are always coming. How do you know when to pull the trigger on the decision to renovate? Might you shut down the city and begin renovation, only to realize that someone has discovered yet another new better way? How long do you wait to commit to one before you commence the top-to-bottom renovation? Coming to the realization that evolution is something that reaches into many more realms than just Biology (as is commonly taught in classrooms) has helped me to better understand and cope with the frustrations of the world. I've learned to better recognize and affect positive change where I can, and 'kick the can down the road' on the things that are not yet ripe for change. In this way, the so-called Serenity Prayer is spot on, sans all the religious associations. Perhaps a more appropriate analogy, then, would be the Neurathian bootstrap: "We are like sailors who on the open sea must reconstruct their ship but are never able to start afresh from the bottom. Where a beam is taken away a new one must at once be put there, and for this the rest of the ship is used as support. In this way, by using the old beams and driftwood the ship can be shaped entirely anew, but only by gradual reconstruction." I hope this helps.
Student on 8/15/2016
I've just turned 15 and I'm relieved to know a bit more of these episodes I experience every few months. Where I question if the goals I'm setting for my future are really all that important when I realize my position in this universe. The effort I put into school is all that important.
Parent on 7/26/2016
This article is spot on. The description of the experience of being this way is very accurate. I'm a parent and have been this way for as long as I can remember. I started programming on a computer when I was 8. By 12 I had mastered it. I was always getting bored and feeling restricted by the limitations of things. I still do to some extent but I understand why things are the way they are and that constraints of this nature are part of normal existence. My daughter is the same way but I find she is coping with it way better than I did because as a parent with the same gift (or curse depending on how you look at it) I understand her and she understands me. My parents were not the sharpest tools in the shed and ill-equipped to deal with this type of child. There was always a lack of understanding and empathy and a sense especially from one parent in particular of "why can't you just get with the program?" They did the best they could with their limited awareness and understanding though. Thanks for writing this!
Parent on 7/15/2016
Thank you so much for this. I have a 10-year-old son who is going through something dramatic at the moment - he has autism and for two weeks has been a very angry, very violent child, with all of his aggression aimed at me (I'm a single mother and he's my only child. It's a very intense relationship). This evening his tension finally broke for a while and he approached me to talk to me about what he's been going through. He's grappling with questions of such enormity that I don't feel anyone has the answers - what is a child? Where is my power? What is my purpose? I can see exactly how he's reached this point - logical step by step in a thought-process he's followed alone and without me, and now he's hit a logic wall he's frightened and frustrated. While I identified this as an "existential crisis" to a friend just now (while discussed yet another difficult day with my son), it wasn't until I read your article that I really understood the depth of his crisis and how frightening it must be to be at the forefront of these thoughts - especially without the emotional development to deal with it all. He is, as your article describes, essentially alone. While he resists being touched, he was throwing himself into my arms while we were talking and sat very close to me for a while after (we played a game to settle down after the discussion). Tomorrow I'll go through this article with him and see how much resonates with him. Right now, though, I'm heartbreak and sympathy for my son's giant mind which has always been under-estimated because of a diagnosis of ASD; he doesn't have a learning difficulty - everyone else has a listening one. Thank you so much for this article - my love and hope to all the other commenters. x
Student on 7/13/2016
I'm 18 now but I've had both existential nihilism and thantaphobia since I was 8, I have struggled for a while with them but for the past eight months I constantly keep suffering panic attacks. I'm not sure what to do anymore because no one seems to understand, when I look up NEDS or religious teachings it helps. This article also helps a little but I just really need someone who knows how to ease these sort of fears or a family member who understands even if they don't fear the same things. I'll never be suicidal but I really hope my depression can be fixed or my questions can be answered. I have lots of dreams but recently my willpower hasn't been the greatest for pursuing them (or my confidence). I really hope other people will be ok and that I can overcome these fears myself.
Student on 7/12/2016
I am crying right now. This is too accurate, it's unbelievable. I am glad I'm not alone, but I'm also feel very (very) sorry for who feels it, because honestly, I'm almost giving up.
Student on 5/29/2016
This article summarized a lot of the thoughts I've been having recently and throughout my life, and framed those thoughts in a way that I found to be both very helpful and very moving. Reading the article had a profound emotional effect upon me: as many others have said in this comment section, it helped me realize that I am not alone, and that the goal of my socialization should be to find people who can understand and relate to my thoughts; my pains.Does anyone know of an online community for people like us? That would really help me, to have people to converse with who are on the same footing as me, both intellectually and emotionally.
Student on 5/12/2016
Like other commenters, I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me after reading this article. I cried as I realized I have never been alone in feeling this way. The existential isolation I feel and continue to feel is difficult to describe, but this article manages to pinpoint its origins. I wish I had read this when I was younger, because it was so hard to convey the anguish I felt, and couldn't accurately connect with anyone on this matter. A piece of positivity: I wouldn't identify as depressed any longer, but I have a unique perspective as I've reorganized my existential thoughts into a positive, productive structure for life. I want those who are still struggling with depression to know that it really does get better. I still get flashes of anxiety and minor depressive episodes when I think too long about existence and meaninglessness. This hasn't gone away, and I don't expect it to. But to be able to turn those thoughts into productive actions takes practice. Good luck to those who are struggling. You are not alone.
Student on 5/4/2016
I came upon this article in search of inspiration that I could give to a friend in need, whom I've spent the last two and a half years loving dearly, and whom now is suffering from a psychosis which I can only hope is short-term. I speak of an ex-lover and a very gifted person who happens to be quite young (21) whereas I'm going to be 33 in November. Nevertheless, I want to touch on my own response to this article. I want to express how I still feel like the young person who struggles with existential depression. I feel like it has been with me since I was 12 and hasn't left. It's made it seemingly impossible to fully commit to life decisions due to over-analyzing just about everything, and even my great ideas aren't good enough for me. I wish to express this to the college students in particular, mainly because I relate to you the most, as I'm still finishing my degrees. What I would say to you is just do whatever you really like doing and give it your "all" because whatever it is you're going to do well or will take what you've learned and apply it to something better because you are the gifted youth. Do what you like and don't look back or ahead too far. Make something. Write something. Deconstruct something. Travel to something. Like the article said, life is a series of forks in the road and all you have to do is choose the one you truly like. Just develope yourself by actively doing things you like. Break the stereotypes, the family patterns, the rules if you must and always follow your flowering heart. If you don't you will always have that depression or be managing it topically. There's no time to be depressed when your loving that you're experiencing what it's truly like to be gifted, because that is what you are! Thank you. I'm done crying.
Student on 5/3/2016
I cried after reading this. Just like everyone else it felt so spot on and reassuring. I wake up everyday questioning ideas, laws, actions, and go back to bed with only a few questions answered. Being gifted means having empathy, empathy to see things from a person's concern, and that gives us understanding. I'm 19 and about to graduate from university, everyone thinks I'm 22 cause I fit in so well and act even more mature than them. It's like I'm living a life that's not meant to be mine but I know I'm supposed to live this life cause it's fate. I wish I could honestly meet some of you to talk about these things. For example I agree with money being used as a unit of value but not a store of value, if you get what I mean. Also read Plato's allegory of the cave, it'll help. I don't know if anyone would read this but thank you, I don't know why I'm thanking you but that's all I can really do. I encourage you to give thanks more often too cause that's all we can do, be grateful for whatever comes.
Student on 1/27/2016
I can't really add much that hasn't been said in other comments, but I still have to say that it is so incredibly reassuring to just reading this article and the comments from people who feel like it described them, and I really wish I could meet more people in my own life who think this way. Thanks again for this spectacular article, it really means so much to so many people to hear that they/we aren't alone in our endlessly confusing minds
Educator on 9/24/2015
Although it's too late for me, I believe that this article would provide tremendous support for anyone who hasn't gone through a first phase of reintegration. (And it is a phase - subsequent phases of disintegration and reintegration in an endless cycle until death are almost inevitable. Such is the fate of our kind.) I know that there are quite a few of us who don't make it out of adolescence alive, and many more, including me, who never managed to find any outside help and consequently went through abject hell. Just knowing that my plight was shared would have been of great help, in retrospect. Also the notion that stronger reintegration is possible would have been a nice light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel kind of hope. My own few cents - get as many friends as possible. Put yourself out there, get *good* people if you can. Get a lot of physical contact. The body has a wisdom of its own, and nourishing it can calm the mind. Sunshine & exercise. Connect with animals. (Personally, aligning myself with eternal principles helped provide a sort of grounding i.e. Non-Aggression Principle).
Student on 9/19/2015
The article is so spot on... I do feel too smart to make choices since I learn things so fast and I have multiple things that I'm interested in and can't really focus on one or two of them. But only time can tell on which subjects I would spend more time and make more progress. I feel very sorry for my family...I love them and appreciate for what they've offered me.They always thought I was a normal happy kid since I tried to keep my depression as a secret so they wouldn't worry about me. But unfortunately they can't understand... and the gap between communication hurts us all...They think I'm ungrateful... I guess learning as much as I can and waiting for time to tell is the only and best way.
Other on 7/15/2015
Wow. Thank you so much for this. I happened upon this article as I was feeling this way, as I have done regularly for about 20 years. I've never been able to explain the suicide attempt I made when I was 12 years old to anyone, and found myself making up reasons why I did it, but your description is spot on. Since then, I've been an 'optimistic depressive' as I call it, which is based on my idealistic nature. I've gone through life with yearly periods of questioning my identity and changing my hair and outward persona so much that it's become a character trait. I'm constantly seeking to belong and always feel isolated, even in a crowd. I don't let myself think about it all too much anymore for fear of regressing into suicidal thoughts. It's helpful to know that I'm not alone, and the idea of getting lots of hugs validates what I've suspected for a long time about touch and human contact making me feel less alone. Thank you.
Other on 7/13/2015
I cannot thank you enough. The first step to finding the answer is asking the right questions, and you have helped me to look in the right direction. Kudos to your research and presentation.
Student on 7/6/2015
I feel so good right now. I remember ever since I was little I had these deep, out-of-place thoughts. I read a lot Calvin and Hobbes as a little kid, though, so Calvin really dropped that philosophical seed in my mind. My ED went into full gear when I was about 14. I couldn't conceive how everyone was living so carefree. It seemed like I was staring at programmed robots who weren't even self-aware and I was looking from the outside. Whenever I asked something about how weird life was or something along the likes, I'd just get weird looks or the other person didn't even seem to acknowledge the question as something worth thinking about. It drove me nuts. I am always the absent-minded person in any group I am in, but in all honesty, I just can't find interest in stuff because it seems so pointless to me. I know it's not a good way to go through life, but I just can't find the motivation to do something that would lead me to unhappiness, when I could be doing something that would basically make my life. Any choice I make in my life would have the same effect on this Earth anyways. It's also frustrating how my parents don't understand me. I'm 19 now, and college really hasn't gone that well for me. I wish I could drop everything I'm doing and make music for a living, but it's not as easy as it sounds. I know these thoughts will come again, but it's kind of comforting knowing that someone is asking themselves the same questions I am. Good luck to you all, I guess.
Other on 7/2/2015
I feel a strong need to thank you for helping me realise that I am not alone in facing this. I've been dealing with these very thoughts since my teenaged years and on and off through my 20s. I'm 27/28 now and I've developed counter arguments to manage my despair, but today in the midst of the heavy summer air, I find myself fighting the futility of existence once again. I have just started seeing a therapist for some clarity on related issues, and he told me, you just need to realise you are not alone and work harder on finding people like you. I would be hard pressed to say I am gifted, but for instance, I find myself identifying with the HSP tag and am learning more about it. Thank you again. Funny how so many of us contemplate the same themes in the same manner. :) You're also right on the touch thing, I have realised I need touch to feel connected again to the rest of the world. And I send all of you hugs! :)
Student on 6/20/2015
I am truly astounded by the precision of this collective piece. It's frustrating to explain such a grand-scaled philosophy that involves a deep-rooted extent of emotion and knowledge to adults who convince themselves it's a phase and deny all else let alone high school children my age. This article was uncanny, I couldn't have written it any more verifiable and faithful to actuality and I guess because of that, frustration DOES easily push one into a spiral of depression no pill can fix when we feel so isolated and misunderstood. It can be overwhelming for a child so mere and so short-lived to refine the meaning of anything when even the brightest individuals of this Earth cannot. We suddenly feel like human pawns of a game manipulated by some manifestation smarter and stronger than we. Distraction from the four issues would be like desensitizing ourselves, worrying about tangible needs must have some kind of reasoning behind it. When the world becomes abstract, so do we. I love this document because it truly describes how gifted children think on a daily basis and how we must tend them before fear consumes them. There must not be any stigma, humiliation, presumption, or hostility but rather acceptance and embrace. But even so, because we don't understand the meaning of life nor the injustice of a hierarchy associated with intelligence, gifted children is just as small as any other ordinary being.
Educator on 4/7/2015
This article in itself is an effective strategy to aiding gifted individuals with sudden bouts of existential depression. One of the common themes I have noticed both as a gifted student and now a fledgling teacher is that gifted students wish to be truly understood for the issues that are often too difficult to discuss with age-based peers. Voluntarily reentering the high school environment, it was depressing to remind myself how arbitrarily and heavily structured public schooling was, but even in the most structured environments one can find examples of those who find freedom and flexibility and work hard to make the world has personal meaning. I hope any gifted student who reads this can feel through my words that what they are feeling is not strange or a problem that needs fixing. Acknowledging the nature of the world we live in is essential to understand what how much impact one wants or does not want to leave on this world. Wonderful article, and I hope to read some other pieces from this researcher.
Student on 4/6/2015
I'm currently 21, and I believe I had these issues when I was quite young. Like what has been said so far in the comments section, it was an issue that I just wasn't able to expound upon. Implicit isolation and loneliness were definite, ugly, painful consequences. Luckily, I have found Mathematics, and this has been a sufficient solution so far. I believe that the most troubling issue during that time was the loneliness factor, so this article I'm sure has lifted a good load from those who are experiencing this issue and have read it. I would like to inform you though, that a result of having these issues only makes thinking a more enjoyable activity, especially in the right community.
Student on 3/20/2015
This is an amazing article, and I truly felt as if it was describing me. As a high school student, it's often hard to find peers willing to discuss such large, hypothetical ideas. What makes it even worse, is that if you try to talk to any adult about topics such as these, they claim to "understand" you, but you can just tell that they think you're an arrogant, confused, angsty teenager who's simply overinflating their ego in an attempt to feel good about themselves. Nothing could be further from the truth, and it, unfortunately, ownly exacerbates the problem of isolation. One thing in this article that I am not so sure about, is how to address the issue. While for many, simply knowing that there are others out there that share similar pains and thoughts can be helpful, I tend to feel almost oppositely at times. While it is surely comforting to know that you're not the only person facing such existential issues and crises, recognizing that there are thousands upon thousands of other people out there just like you can actually make the situation worse. Knowing that you are just like everyone else only makes the sense of meaninglessness more prevalent by causing you to recognize the fact that you're not a unique or special individual who's going to change the world. And while many of us probably will to a certain degree, it hurts to know that you can't fix every problem out there, no matter how naive and idealistic that belief may be.
Other on 3/18/2015
This is a really great article. I really struggle with many of these things all the time. I can especially relate to the woman who talked about her daughter's feelings. That was definitely my life in school. Why has no one thought of getting all of these people together to do something constructive instead of feeling better about not being the only depressed people in the world, we could start change.
Student on 2/22/2015
I am honestly amazed that I'm not actually crazy as my mother seems to think. My whole life I've struggled with existential crisis type depression, and I never thought to research it further until today. This article does an amazing job of summarizing whats been inside my head, that I've been unable to accurately articulate. Amazing job.
Student on 2/3/2015
I have never read an article that has almost perfectly summarized my concerns and thought patterns like this article has. Reading it was truly remarkable like reading an excerpt from my thoughts when I was a teenager.
Student on 1/23/2015
I feel that this article has helped so many teens including myself.
Student on 1/23/2015
Thank you so much. This has shown me that I am not the only one.
Student on 12/24/2014
This article really helped bring some reason to my depression. However, I don't agree with what was said about telling the youth about how what they're feeling is understood amongst others. When you're a depressed youth who only sees the bad in the world and feels nothing but misunderstanding from peers and adults, you don't want to be understood, you want to be heard. If people automatically say they understand, it feels like they don't because they haven't really heard what it is you're trying to say. This causes a lot of frustration, and increases feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Other on 12/9/2014
I remember feeling these thoughts. They basically filled my mind from age 14 to 17. I remember asking a few of my friends, "Have you ever wondered why you think the way you think ?" I always worried the answer was no. Then this article hits on another point, reoccurring thoughts. I am now 23. My dad recently passed and I feel some of the same thoughts resurfacing. I can't ever say I was in a depression, but definitely in deep thought and analysis.
Other on 11/30/2014
I'm shocked to see there are other teens who think and feel the exact same way I do. I know a few adults who do too, but I felt super weird because I thought I was the only teen who felt this way. Adults say there is no point wanting a better life because the world can't change. We can't do everything alone, but maybe we can work together somehow? If anyone has an idea on how we could work together, do comment and I'll check out this page again.
Student on 11/21/2014
I'm just glad that it is verified that there are people out there who are 'gifted' and feel the same or similar ways. The only people that I have ever met that I felt I could relate to were all philosophers and writers. I knew that younger people like me existed, I just didn't know where. I guess I'll just have to wait to step out into the supposed real world to find those who think like me.
Student on 10/24/2014
Living in Singapore, with materialism as the culture, I really have been so alone until I saw this article. Now I know where my depressions stemmed from, these past few months of darkness and whirlwinds of thought in my head. I don't believe it - I have finally found people who actually think the same. I thought no one would ever understand me. Everyone I try to talk to thinks I'm crazy, especially my family. I cried reading this article, and now I feel more comforted, yet still lost. I am turning 21 very soon, and am deciding on what to do with my life. I always had talent in everything I put effort into, and that made me crazy. I know that I don't have enough time in this life to do it all!!
Student on 10/23/2014
Gifted has been a term hovering in the background of my life. Though gifted kids are characterized by genius, creativity and boundless talent, the truth of the matter is that giftedness does not embody itself externally. It is a pattern of thought, an approach to life built upon a foundation of curiosity. Everything I do is coloured by my attempts to understand a deeper, more widely applicable pattern. Though I quickly gain a strong conceptual understanding of anything, my communication skills and reflexes have never lived up to the prodigiously deep understandings I have. At 8, I began to have existential depression. I am 18 now and it hasn't stopped. I've gotten much better at hiding it so as to avoid confusion, puzzlement and ridicule for being 'over analytical'. To my coworkers, I seem a hardworking, light hearted, and absent-minded kid. I seem normal, but that is my default behaviour to avoid negative attention. These thoughts only stop when my mind absorbs new concepts... a rarity in a job wherein one must repeat the same sales pitches day in and day out. There's little reason for me to do any of it but I do it for the sake of lingering.
Parent on 10/19/2014
This article was very eye-opening for me. Our 10-year-old daughter experiences a lot of frustration. She is very bright, intense and has a deep dislike for school. She gets completely overwhelmed by feelings brought on by the idea that so many things (as she perceives them) are futile. She laments the number of years she has to "not have control of my life" and "waste time sitting in a classroom". She recently became very distraught and said, "I wish life could be like a video game - clearly laid out. What is the goal of it all? What's the point? Become famous? Become rich? Help people? Then what? Then what? What is the REAL point of it all?!" I really struggle with how to support her when these strong emotions surface. It breaks my heart for her. We live in a small town and there are no other educational options for her. I don't think homeschooling is the answer, but I'm not sure.
Parent on 9/21/2014
So many people can relate; as can my 22-year-old daughter who is paralyzed by her crisis. What practical steps do gifted people who feel this way take to make decisions when those decisions to them are inconsequential, and yet life changing. When you can do anything and be good at it, and are a perfectionist as well as struggle with how what you do doesn't matter...how do you move forward? What practical things can I say to my daughter to help? How does she begin to take steps to help herself proactively rather than just wait for time to pass.
Other on 7/29/2014
I really wish I had read this a little kid. No one was ever close enough to make it seem I was human enough to talk to. Nice to know I'm not alone though.
Educator on 6/15/2014
As an educator, how do we help students with existential depression? I am very concerned for a student who struggles with this and want to help him and his family.
Student on 6/5/2014
It makes me weep to find out that i am not alone. This study had made me feel more confident in my brain than anything i have ever encountered.
Other on 4/8/2014
I am glad that you found my article to be helpful. You might also want to look at my new book, "Searching for Meaning: Idealism, Bright Minds, Disillusionment, and Hope" (www.greatpotential press. com).
Student on 2/22/2014
I really wish someone could have helped me through the first stage of my existential depression when I was ten. It was a very challenging time for me. This artical should assist my friend who is having a similar problem though. Thank you so much.
Parent on 2/12/2014
I was recognised as gifted and talented at school, and cannot remember a time before I waged psychological battles every day with myself. I am now proud to say this is the first afternoon of the rest of my life. Thank you so much for this article, you've helped me fight a ten year battle with myself, and armed me with the tools to assist my young daughter. A thousand times thank you!
Other on 12/20/2013
Finally, some validation. Grokking geologic time at 8 did me in for good, general empirical observatiin didn't help. CTY and heavy heavy metal kept me afloat to this day. (23)
Other on 12/5/2013
You have just explained ME. I'm 49 and have struggled with who I am every day. I can't thank you enough for putting my life into words. This article should be distributed to EVERY suicide prevention center, EVERY school, EVERY teacher, EVERY Clergy...etc. I no longer feel alone or wrong in who I am. Thank goodness I have had a strong support system in my life, or I would not be here. I feel like I can finally accept who I am and start making changes based on my acceptance, rather than trying to fight against my personality.
Student on 10/18/2013
I do believe you have just changed my life. There are no sufficient words of thanks.
Other on 9/30/2013
i just wanted to ask the author about being "gifted." What exactly is the definition of "gifted"?
Student on 9/27/2013
I am going through an existential depression myself, and I turned 17 two weeks ago. I wish it had not hit me so soon, because I do not feel like the future is looking good. I've lost much of my motivation in school, seeing as how it's just another institution wasting my time. I'm planning on going to college, but what after? How could I possibly live in a world where I consider the average 9-5 job to be a form of slavery? Perhaps the only answer for my question would be this: transcendentialism. A "return-to-nature" philosophy. Perhaps the only solution is to become some self-sustaining farmer and shepherd on a plot of land somewhere isolated. I don't know...
Other on 9/27/2013
I am 40 years old, and have had the first bouts of depression when I was 5. Although I have managed to find peace with myself to a meaningful degree, I am still happy that I have finally been "read" and understood by someone so succinctly. The comments of other readers have struck a cord, bringing out a tear or two. Thank you for giving me the opportunity, albeit 30-something years later, to put a name to a problem, for which I always thought was solely the result of my unique weirdness as a human being. Even though I have given up looking for the cause of the problem, it is gratifying to finally find out a more objective truth, if only to know how to help my own children, if needs be. Being understood is such a powerful blessing. Thank you so much.
Other on 9/3/2013
Great article. Found it after searching for reasons why I had 'that feeling' and didn't do anything but read for 12 hrs yesterday and barely get out of bed until noon today. Im a 29 yr old dentist with large network of professionals/friends and huge family. I suppose what's going on is our thoughts are triggering a depressive emotional response, and if we ruminate on it, we only deepen our depressed state. And typically for me it revolves around how much life there still is that's ultimately meaningless. But it helps to think about time like food. If you had a huuuuuge plate full of eggs, or whatever, you'd probably eat them with a different mindset than if you only had 1/10th the eggs. Assuming you don't hate eggs, you may not take for granted each bite, and appreciate the few bites you have. You may even add some spices to liven em up because each bite is so valuable! So keep thinking. You'll discover all kinds of ways to help others, and after all, that's what it's all about. Once again, great article.
Other on 8/7/2013
What a fantastic article. I was always classed as dumb at school, but I was also very bored and in deep depression. There was only about three times that I can remember being really stimulated in school. So I do not think of myself as gifted. However, I studied to be a museum curator at university and it was when I was learning about the different learning styles that I realised that I am an existentialist by nature. This article describes me just so well and I have to read copious amounts of books to find my meaning in life.
Other on 7/24/2013
I read the entire works of Charles Dickens by the time i was twelve. I found his understanding of suffering, indeed all the Victorians' understanding of melancholy, incredibly useful when I was struggling with this stuff. Our happiness culture finds it very difficult not to pathologise suffering and melancholy.
Student on 7/22/2013
The below comment is wrong. As an atheist teenager myself, although I wouldn't describe myself as having depression-like symptoms; this article nonetheless sums up many of the concerns that I think about on a daily basis. Never have I felt that my acceptance of atheism or society's lack thereof as having any affect on the mixed emotions generated by existential musings. I am also certain that to the contrary, some students like myself find meaning through faith. Of course, I have no empirical evidence to back these claims up, but this is what I have observed as an atheist "gifted" student.
Educator on 7/22/2013
This is the most insightful psychology article that I have read in fifty years. My existential angst started at the age of four. I was a very gifted child - the kind that was reading at the college level at age 9, and doing calculus a year later. However, i was terrified of death, overwhelmed by choices - and, by a feeling that i was trying to empty an ocean with a spoon. I got more from your article than i got out of thirty years of psychoanalysis. Thank you.
Other on 7/21/2013
I guess part of the solution would be to find a purpose in life, a deep purpose that will move the lives of these children. The thing is that when you are young you still haven't explored all the areas, so you haven't found what you are passionate about. Until then, the best thing is to keep learning, trying things and exploring the world and all the disciplines. I'm telling this from my experience, I have spent many years thinking about this and now I think I have this purpose that makes every day a good day to achieve what I want in life.
Other on 7/21/2013
I will say that as mentioned in this article, if you know someone like this, both touch and communication will help tremendously. But it *must* be done in an accepting way and on that person's own terms, and if you don't have the patience for that, you will only make things worse and are better off leaving that person alone.
Student on 7/21/2013
I am going to be a sophomore at UCSB next year as a statistics or computer science major. Ever since college started, I've been thinking about these existential thoughts for hours sometimes, googling "What is the meaning of life?"--among other questions. What is the point of college?--Afterwards I may or may not get a job, but in the end, everyone dies. It's interesting to think about, but think about it too much you realize that even thinking about it won't accomplish anything. I've come time and time again to come to the conclusion that what's best for me is to accept the utilitarian idea that "the aim of action should be the largest possible of pleasure over pain or the greatest happiness of the greatest number." Happiness is what makes us whole. Also being outside, one with nature, is something that always automatically makes me feel better. It helps that I have a roommate to discuss SOME of these thoughts with, although we argue a lot upon the topics of politics and such. This is how I deal with the fact that our lives are ultimately meaningless, the fact that everybody is superficial--including me, the fact that there will always be evil in the world--oh no it's happening again! I'm thinking too much! The simple joys in life is what gets you through. I just needed to let this randomness out haha.
Student on 7/21/2013
Thank you for this article. It explains a lot of the feelings I had as an early teenager, or even younger child. These insights will also help me raising my own son - who undoubtedly have similar questions and concerns. A small note regarding the beautiful poem: A slightly more accurate version seems to be this: Hold fast to dreams For if dreams die Life is a broken-winged bird That cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams For when dreams go Life is a barren field Frozen with snow.
Parent on 6/23/2013
I feel that the hope for this problem is acceptance of atheism. Children don't have to have "X" = God any longer...in fact it's alright to be outspoken about their doubts that a god exists at all. Thd more accepting the public becomes of people who don't believe in a god become, I theorize the less depressed the children will become, because it is this fear of speaking out and being shunned for doubt by their family and peers which, I believe, is the actual root of depression in these children.
Student on 6/4/2013
I have this problem during the summer because my mind has got nothing else to do, and I think, what if I'm the only real person, and everyone else is just in my mind and the whole world is just a figment of my imagination, and why does the universe exist, anyway?
Student on 5/4/2013
I wasn't a particularly gifted child (and, actually, I cringe at the word, but that's a debate for another time), yet I had existential crises. They usually had to do with my place in the Universe, trying to conceptualize the future, dwelling on the shortcomings of humanity and individuals (including myself), and so on. The first time I was seriously depressed I was 12, but I don't think it arose from an existential crisis. I really struggled through my early twenties, and I still have thoughts from time to time even now, but on the whole things have improved. I think several things have helped me me overcome the fact that my continuing to live is irrational in the face of certain conclusions I've arrived at: a) I've come to a much better understanding of my emotional and psychic state and certain warning signs and triggers of depression. b) I have found many friends near and far who share my musings, fears, questions, and dilemmas, and c) I have to some degree found purpose in the notion that my life is not only for myself, but for others, including future people.
Student on 5/1/2013
I remember asking my parents something like "What makes me... me and not somebody else? If I was in someone else's body, would I be them and not me?" when I was little. Of course, they had no idea what I was talking about and I'm not even sure if I completely understood. This article pretty much sums it up. I'm in high school, and can't tell you how many times I've felt let down by the actions of my peers, my generation, and society as a whole. I never felt like I belonged even though I have friends and a loving family. I feel like I've been in one, ongoing existential crisis since middle school. I'd say it has made me into a spiritual person as a result. Faith and belief in God gives life meaning and purpose. Without it, we are left with questions like "What is this all for?". I can't explain it in words. There is so much I want to say but I'll just say this: I'm glad to have found this article.
Student on 4/2/2013
I was homeschooled til 5th grade, and this article completely explains my life for years. I always felt people just didnt get life, and get me.
Other on 3/24/2013
I am so glad to have found this article too. I was classified as a gifted child, and as an adult in my 30s I still get tinges of depression that seems to come from nothing. I wanted to offer to all of those that have left comments, and new readers to this article, to look into Eckhart Tolle. The practices he teaches have helped me tremendously. You do not need to suffer. You can find light and learn to love this life and being in this world. You are not alone.
Parent on 3/15/2013
I happened upon this article because my six year old son raised some serious existential questions to me tonight. Questions like "what is the purpose of life if we are all going to die anyway". This went on for a good hour. I knew it was a matter of time, since he has been diagnosed as highly gifted since age three. I read the article and then I read the thread and yes, there are coping mechanisms, but the problematic root will never go away.
Student on 3/13/2013
I'm so grateful I found this article. To know I'm not alone in these thoughts, and that it's much more common than I thought, made me feel less alone. And I think that's a piece of help I truly needed.
Other on 2/17/2013
I'm glad that I found this article. After years of feeling isolated and generally different, being in and out of institutions and labeled over and over with no general consensus on what was wrong, I think I finally see what's been going on. This also explains why I broke down and was hospitalized during a philosophy class in high school. Maybe this would've been helpful if taken into consideration while I was growing up, but then again, maybe not. At the least, I feel a little more informed. Thanks.
Student on 2/9/2013
This is a poignant and spot-on article. I am 16 and have just emerged from an existential crisis. I'm fascinated with philosophy, such as metaphysics and cosmology. I love to learn and value intelligence above all. The contemplation of existence is a rough experience and one that often left me crying and panicking late at night. This article lends great assistance in a time of need.
Student on 2/7/2013
I have been existentially depressed since around puberty... this is a great article, and my greatest hope is that whoever reads this and is severely depressed, seeks out some sort of support and help... because you are amazing. Hang in there.
Other on 2/3/2013
Wow this article is so accurate. So accurate that it made me laugh a few times. Excessive awareness is a "double-edged sword" because it allows one to figure out solutions and understand people, politics, day to day dilemmas, etc. very quickly and effectively... but it also takes the blissfulness out of life and makes one appear like an arrogant know-it-all. But hey, might as well take advantage of our miracle of an existence and free will... Accomplish something unique and have fun.
Parent on 12/19/2012
Really interesting ...my son's depressed but many of the behaviours here are spot on. He's just started Physics at Cambridge now and has a very pleasant girlfriend ...but many of the things in the article are so spot on.
Parent on 10/26/2012
Such a great article. I know it focused on children but I think there are so many adults out there who grapple with these issues every day. I know I do and have for 15 years. I have yet to find a friend or another person who wants to talk, debate or discuss these issues. I try every day to find meaning in my life but I go to sleep every nigt thinking there is no point to it all really. I think there is so much disintegration in society in various ways that may in future make this existential depression so much more prevalent. We live in an era of unprecedented choice yet many of these choices are incredibly superficial and pointless. Anyway, I'm rambling - see how desperate I am to talk to someone interested in this issue! Thanks again.
Other on 10/13/2012
Your article made me cry because it described my life in a way that I have failed to acknowledge until today. Depression, as I am coming to realize, has always been a component of my life. Situational depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and for a long time, an indescribable state of being where I cannot even find comfort in my own skin because of an unrelenting question: Is this what it's all about? Now I have a name for this state I'm in, and knowing that I am not alone is a comfort and a relief. Thank you for the article, however painful and comforting at the same time.
Other on 10/10/2012
I really enjoyed this article. After many years of battling with the issues that are eloquently described here, I spoke to a psychiatrist (again) recently who said "It sounds like you are having an existential crisis"...This article explains alot of what I have been dealing with from a young age. My father died when i was 5 years old which obviously left me with questions that no peer or adult could answer. The physical contact thing has makes alot of sense for me too as I have always needed alot of affection from girls I have been with. Thanks for publishing this, its a nice explanation for how I have felt for most of my life, although I wouldn't say I was gifted :)
Other on 10/10/2012
In 17 years I have never met anyone who shares my view of the world even closely. I always thought the depression I had to keep to myself was just because I saw something I could never tell anyone I saw for fear of being called insane. I've been without support or connections from anyone for so long that the damage to me has been done. Nothing could fix what I've put myself through mentally and emotionally, but to finally put a name on it and know I'm not by myself in knowing that I'm eternally by myself brings a sort of closure to the past 5 years of my life. This article was a wonderful read and actually brought me to the first tears I've had in two and a half years.
Other on 9/25/2012
Thanks for a supportive read during the current existential crisis...I'm about to turn 30 and have had struggled with this type of depression as long as I can remember. In most ways, I think I've learned to deal with them in a more positive way as I've gotten older, but it is always helpful to be reminded we're not alone. I do want to agree however with the previous commenter that specifically focusing on Langston Hughes' race without any apparent reason was a jarring note in an otherwise thoughtful article. Simpler to state he was a poet and a great one.
Student on 9/15/2012
Thanks so much for this article. Sometimes all you need to know is that you're not alone.
Student on 9/14/2012
I've had some form of existential thoughts & definitely some form of existential depression since early elementary school. Now that I'm in high school, these thoughts have only intensified. Even as a very young girl it was always the bigger picture, the web of nature, the simultaneous fragility and insignificance of life, the hypocrisy and horrors of human nature... I've found a few likeminded souls who share the same burdens, and it's nice to talk to them. This world is infinitely puzzling and, as I've decided, too beautiful to leave behind. Thank you for this wonderful article!
Student on 9/11/2012
I'm 23 now but when I was a child I would have these thoughts all the time. I remember being ten and thinking about what it meant for something to be infinite and how death is infinite. No one else my age would ever think about this or the "unfairness" of the world. My parents thought it was just a phase and never paid much attention to it. This article makes me feel like I'm not alone.
Other on 8/28/2012
I’ve had these types of thoughts and feelings since I was in primary school (1st-6th grade). I remember being afraid of dying. These moments usually occurred while I was in bed without anything to distract my mind. I wasn’t scared of any particular form of death, but I had a profound sense of the inevitability. It was like I could feel eternity stretching before me and I realised that I am inherently alone and that everything that I value or ever will value will be taken from me. It didn’t matter if I died now or in a billion years. Existence is worthless and I couldn’t think my way out of it, it was terrifying. It didn’t appear that anyone among my peers felt the same hollowness until high school. One way to manage these thoughts was to remind myself that my understanding of the universe is incomplete and I/we may simply be incapable of comprehending what��s going on. Like fish in an aquarium. Of course being distracted helps too.
Other on 8/22/2012
Validation is exactly the word. This label plus the shared experience of others on this forum have allowed a much needed mental exhalation of relief. Since the age of 7, whenever people have asked me how I was, I would have to lie and give a 'mask' answer because there was no way on earth I could tell them what I had actually been thinking, worrying, and stressing about. Why do I feel low today? No, mummy, it wasn't a bully. No, it wasn't a failed exam. It was the long line of increasingly worrying thought about the meaningless of it all, mummy. What parents or adults generally can tactfully handle the weight of these questions and what same-aged kids can relate to topics so extreme? And even worse, my dad would encourage me with these heavy philosophical questions, partly because he enjoyed the frustrating nature of them, but also because he thought it was good for me. Having said all that, I wouldn't have changed my past for the world, as the ability to get to the core of life and oneself is an adventurous endeavor feared by many, and increases spiritual richness.
Other on 6/29/2012
This article was very validating for me. Ever since I became self aware as a child I've always been in an existential crisis. I've learned to cope, but some days are better than others. I cope with keeping myself constantly distracted. Fridays are usually worse since the work week is over and my rewarding distraction is done. Its hard to convey these feelings to others who don't understand. There isn't an easy answer to this. I would urge parents to take these issues seriously with their children. Mine didn't.
Educator on 6/1/2012
I think this article is very well-intentioned and speaks well to a very serious issue. However, at the end of the article the author refers to Langston Hughes as an "African-American" poet. For some of us formerly gifted children, being "raced" as the author races Hughes has been one of the most denigrating and painful experiences imaginable. I raise this issue because there is absolutely no reason to "race" Langston Hughes as an African-American or to mention that he is anything other than a poet. Race, in the context of this discussion, is irrelevant to the quote the author selects from Hughes' work.
Student on 5/19/2012
I found this article just as I was going through a particularly harsh period of existential depression. I am 18 now, but I have been dealing with bouts of such depression since I was around 9 or 10. The solution that I have routinely employed is to simply ignore (or more recently accept) that reality, death, and a lot of other things are rooted in pointlessness and instead focus on enjoying myself in the present and the future as best I can. This article helped to remind me of that solution when I needed it most. I have bookmarked this article, will most likely print out, and will definitely make use of it in the future. This is a thanks to the author for such excellent help.
Student on 3/29/2012
Thank you for helping me understand myself better. I am going to save this article so that whenever I am feeling the way this article describes I can read it so that I know the way I am feeling is normal for people like me. It makes things seem less hopeless now, knowing that the way I think is not wrong. Again, thank you. This article is invaluable information for people that suffer from this.
Student on 3/18/2012
This article has brought into light for me exactly what I have felt for years, without being aware of it. Nineteen now, I identified particularly strongly with the need for touch. Not in a sexual way, nor as a need to show the other person any feelings, but simply as a way to feel the warmth and existence of another person. But on the flip side, I have strongly felt what I have described as "being out of control", in the sense that my idealistic views are unable to be achieved. Isolation is particularly difficult when you can articulate the way things "should be", yet as such an insignificant being you cannot affect change. In all, thanks for this.
Student on 3/7/2012
Wow, reading through all the comments on this thread is insanely comforting :)
Student on 3/2/2012
I absolutely loved this article. During my reading I thought to myself, "this is the story of my life". I am 17 and remember struggling very hard with this issue around the age of 7-8. Still, 10 years later I feel myself sometimes getting overwhelmed with feelings of insignificance. I have developed ways to cope and I have a very fortunate life so I rarely slip into depression. I do think the article missed a large coping method many gifted people and my self develop, drug and alcohol use.
Student on 10/8/2011
I'm 17 and I'm usually pretty skeptical when it comes to articles about the gifted because they usually either belittle the differences between "us" and "normal people," or blow them completely out of proportion. This article, however, completely hits the nail on the head and I love it! I remember being the angsty, intense gifted teenager, which, coupled with growing up gay in a conservative region, made for some pretty tough years. However, just as this article prescribes, I found a group of people I could trust and connect with and it taught me to value myself. Also, I learned that though life is finite and you will eventually be forgotten, you still have to live - so you might as well make your life worth living!
Student on 9/21/2011
I am 15 this year and I pretty much follow the descriptions of the progression of existential depression as you described. Thank you for helping me understand and realize the existence of people like me out there.
Other on 3/7/2011
I am 35 now and I smiled pretty much the whole way through reading this article. I recognized fantastic similarities with how I felt when I was a child and teenager with what was written. Sadly my life went in the direction of drug abuse as I received no help for my problems at that age and I am now putting my life together with the love and support of an amazing man - I am one of the fortunate ones. My instinct now is that I wish I knew teachers to whom I could forward this article. I may dig around my mind and ponder on who I can in fact mail this article to, as I believe this is an area that is of urgent importance. Thank you very much to this author and to those working in this field.
Student on 2/22/2011
Thank you! I'm 31 and never knew that there are others like me. I've had this problem since the age of 7, with resolve of my life. One therapist I had before my insurance ran out had mentioned to me that I had one of the worse cases of existential depression he had seen, but ii never thought to look it up to see what it really meant. And even though I'm still considered a hopeless idealist, at least I know there are others out there. At least I know that I'm not the only one trying to make this world a better place for everyone.
Student on 2/22/2011
I am 16 and have been in gifted and advanced learning programs since preshcool age. I am a sophomore this year and will be taking my SAT in May and I often suffer with flashed of depression. Since a very young age I have asked these questions, and still become very frustrated when I observe these behaviors. Thank you for the insight and helping me understand.
Other on 12/9/2010
Thank you for this article. I am 28 this year. I had asked all those questions when I was barely 10. I had no idea why and I thought I was either going crazy or was just plain paranoid. Who else at 10 would think about the meaninglessness of life? It did eventually lead to suicidal thoughts but thank God I didn't go through with it. Finally, with a name and a cause for this depression, I feel so free! Even though it comes on and off, usually triggered by events in my life, I am glad I'm not the alone in this.
Parent on 11/7/2010
I am a parent just trying to understand how to best help my 11 year old who has existential depression. It was just yesterday, after hours of research, that I am finally able to "label" his daily struggle.
Student on 6/26/2010
As other people have said, it really helps to know that I'm not the only one who feels that way. I have this kind of depression off and on, usually stemming from the so-many-possibilities-and-there's-no-'right'-choice idea. It's overwhelming, and usually leads me to a sort of paralysis of life phase, where I don't accomplish anything because I can't accomplish everything. What helps with that is usually dance, friendship, or romantic relationships -- something that makes me really happy will help to break out of it. I'm studying to by an environmental physicist, concentrating in nuclear physics, and all the time I wonder if I've made the "right choice." With the other types, like death and meaninglessness, I've found that they can combat each other. I had the realization a few years ago that I was going to die someday, and so would everyone else, and that was disconcerting to say the least. A few months later, I also realized that life was pointless, but in the best of ways. If there is no ultimate goal we have to accomplish, than how can we fail? You succeed at life by living.
Other on 11/29/2009
I went through two bouts of existential depression, once as a young adult and another time in the middle age. There is no place for any false hope or excuse when dealing with this stuff. There is no hope if you fight it or try to push it around. It is complete acceptance of the fact and surrendering to it that can help bring someone out of it. It is the force of nature.
Educator on 7/20/2009
Wonderful article. I know that I experienced these feelings as a young adult, and have spoken with students who struggle with such existential questions. Questions I have heard, but never such good answers!
Student on 1/3/2009
Thank you for this article. I've been experiencing this kind of depression from when I was eleven years old, and the only solution that I could come up with at the time was to ignore it and try to "enjoy" life. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Also, unlike the other commentator, I found that hugs did help. It's wonderful knowing that I'm not the only one who has these feelings.
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