This article is adapted from Davidson Institute’s “Twice-Exceptionality: A Resource Guide for Parents”, part of our collection of free guidebooks for gifted and 2e families. For a deeper dive into supporting your twice-exceptional child, we encourage you to explore the full guide.
With twice-exceptionality, giftedness is just one part of the puzzle. Exceptionalities are simply part of your child. Many children know they are somehow different before they are assessed. Knowing the names of their differences may provide a sense of relief. There isn’t something wrong with them; there’s a name for it and a community of others who are similar to them.
Below is an article (shortened for the guidebook) by educator, speaker, and mom of three gifted children, Lisa Van Gemert, on her thoughts when it comes to labels. The full article, “8 Reasons You Should Label Kids as Gifted,” appeared on the Gifted Guru website. There are other things to consider when it comes to twice-exceptionality, but many of Van Gemert’s points are relevant to the 2E world.
Reason 1: It allows them to receive academic support and services.
In most cases, it is school systems labeling kids as gifted, and they do so to be able to serve kids with different needs from typical learners. In schools, “gifted” is a service model, not an identity. If we don’t allow the student to be identified for the services the school offers for them, we deny the child appropriate educational placement. Refusal of the label denies services.
Reason 2: Saying you don’t want a child “labeled” is like saying you don’t want a child to have a hair color.
Everyone is labeled. The only choice is whether we want more formal labels as opposed to only the informal labels applied to us every single day. “Labeled” is a loaded term that at its heart means, “recognized as.” You can be labeled as tall, short, fat, thin, belonging to a certain ethnic or racial group, having a particular facial structure or feature, or a wide variety of other physical attributes. You can also be labeled as a reader, an artist, an athlete, a parent, a sibling, a grandchild, a Christian and on and on. Labels are unavoidable, and I’m not sure why we’re so against them. Perhaps it’s because we think it will narrow the way the person sees him- or herself or the way others will see him/her.
Reason 3: The kids didn’t choose the name.
Some people argue against the term “gifted,” believing it implies superiority or arrogance. I believe the opposite. To me, the word “gifted” as it applies to cognition is a constant reminder that this was a gift, not earned. I think it’s humility inducing, not arrogance producing. No matter which way you look at it, however, the child did not choose that term, and it seems patently unfair to say that children are responsible for the distaste of a word they didn’t have any voice in choosing.
Reason 4: Giftedness is no guarantee. It’s potential, not promise.
Giftedness means that you have ability. Like a seed, it is a potential, but it must be nourished, cared for, fertilized and have sun in order to grow. It is the responsibility of parents and educators of gifted kids to explain that being identified as gifted is not a “get out of working hard free” card.
Reason 5: Gifted kids have social and emotional needs as well as cognitive needs.
Even a quick perusal through [the National Association for Gifted Children’s] list of common traits of gifted kids will reveal that only a fraction of them are cognitive. These kids feel differently, as well as think differently. If they don’t get labeled as gifted, they may not get the understanding they need.
Reason 6: Gifted doesn’t just mean thinking better; it means thinking differently.
To me, this is the number one biggest misconception about gifted kids. People as a whole seem to think that gifted just means “smart”—like you think better than other people. When you are gifted, it’s not just that your brain is efficient. Your brain is divergent. They need challenge in school in a way that is very, very different from just more work.
Reason 7: Gifted kids deserve all of the information about themselves.
Would you not tell a child he/she had Rh-blood? Would you not tell a child he/she was Italian? It’s part of identity construction to know who you are, your strengths and weaknesses, your challenges and opportunities. Parents then provide context for these aspects of identity so that they do not become all-defining. When you get a name for the apartness so many gifted children feel, you can make more sense of those feelings.
Reason 8: It allows parents to get support, too.
Parenting gifted children is not for the faint of heart. This game is not for amateurs. Don’t try this at home, folks. When a child is labeled as gifted, at least you have something to Google. Maybe you’ll get lucky and you’ll find [the National Association for Gifted Children] or your state gifted organization or a parenting Facebook group or some other resource that will help you navigate Giftedland. Parents of gifted children can feel isolated and even attacked. It is not uncommon to find defensive parents of GT kids—that’s a natural response to being marginalized for long periods of time. When we label a child as gifted, we actually identify an entire family as needing support, encouragement, understanding and resources. When we refuse to identify kids as gifted, we deny not only the child, but also the parents of the services and support they might otherwise receive.
And that’s why you should label kids as gifted.
Gifted is different, not better.
Labeling is identification and information, not destiny.
The name implies unmerited, not arrogance.
The knowledge of it is power, not an easy path.
This article is reprinted with permission from Gifted Guru.
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