This article is adapted from Davidson Institute’s “Mentoring Guidebook”, part of our collection of free guidebooks for gifted and 2e families. For a deeper dive into supporting your gifted or twice-exceptional child, we encourage you to explore the full guide.
Reasons for ending the mentorship
The majority of mentoring relationships inevitably come to an end. For this reason, it is important that both the mentor and the mentee recognize when the mentorship is nearing an end, rather than simply allowing the relationship to disintegrate or the project to stagnate. Mentorships can take on various forms; some may have resulted through the cultivation of an inspiring relationship, others may have been driven by the project itself and facilitated through a formal mentoring program. The relationship may be an intensive experience with the mentor and mentee laboring together over a project, while others mentorships may consist of infrequent communication over a long distance. Due to the varying nature of these relationships, reaching closure in the relationship and the project may take on various forms.
The first step is to recognize when the mentorship should reach a conclusion. Here are some thoughts for the mentee to consider:
- Have you already met your goals for the mentorship?
- Have you reached the end of a pre-determined timeline?
- Would it be useful to create new goals for the mentorship?
- When you pose a question, can you predict your mentor’s response?
- Are you ready for a new mentor?
- Have you lost interest in the project, or do you need a break?
- Are you ready to continue on your own?
Mentorships are intended to foster continual learning and inspire participants to meet goals and formulate their thoughts. An experienced mentor should recognize when the mentee is in need of a fresh perspective or ready to continue independently.
Reflection and evaluation
Throughout the mentorship, it is important for the mentor and the mentee to reflect upon the direction the mentorship is taking, its impact on the participants, and identify when goals are met. Furthermore, many relationships are enhanced when the pair communicates with other interested parties, particularly the mentee’s parents and teachers. Solid mentorships are maintained in this way, and when it comes time to end the mentorship, this communication enables a smooth transition.
Prior to ending the mentorship, carry out an exit interview. The mentor and mentee may be most comfortable with the same form of communication as they employed throughout the mentorship, via email, phone or in person. Below are questions to consider including in an exit interview.
The project
Throughout the mentorship it is useful to reflect upon the project’s development, and take note when goals are being met, or why they are not. When ending the project, the mentor and mentee should evaluate the project itself. Here are a few questions for both to consider:
- Have we met the goals we outlined at the beginning of our project?
- Were the original goals practical?
- Did we or should we have set new goals throughout the mentorship?
- What was the significance of the project or its findings? • What were the project’s shortcomings?
- How could you have avoided any pitfalls that may have occurred?
- What directions could this project take?
- How could the findings of the project be applied?
- Is the project incomplete or missing something?
- Does the mentee need a new mentor who is specialized in another area in order to continue with their project?
- Will there be concerns of intellectual property? How will those issues be handled?
The relationship
It is important for the mentor and the mentee to reflect upon the mentoring relationship together. Here are a few questions for both to consider:
- What have you taught each other or what have I learned from this process?
- What do you value in the relationship?
- What, if anything, would you have done differently?
- What are your future plans?
- How can you help the other prepare for future plans?
- Is it difficult for you to say ggoodbye
- Should we maintain the relationship after the project is complete?
Transitions and Closures
The evaluation process is actually a form of transition from a formal mentoring relationship to a new arrangement for the mentor and mentee or a finalization of the relationship. One positive way to close the mentorship is by recognizing its significance. In formal mentoring programs, typically a certificate is issued or a ceremony takes place. While this form of recognition may be meaningful for participants, others choose more individualized approaches. Here are a few ideas to consider:
- Write about the project.
- Informally present the project to parents and teachers.
- Locate a research group, association, or other students in the field and formally present the project and its findings.
- Submit findings to be published.
- Celebrate with your mentor and significant others in your life.
- Write a letter of thanks to your mentor and share what the experience has meant to you.
As mentioned, many relationships end with the project; however, this is not always the case. The relationship can also take on a new role. The mentor may agree to be available to answer questions or support the mentee in future endeavors. Many mentees note a digression in their learning, and a lack of reflection on their projects when mentorships end abruptly, and when they do not have a formal structure in place for learning. Successful mentorships may continue with new projects and the creation of new goals. As the mentee develops and furthers their knowledge, the mentor may shift from providing direction to a more collaborative relationship, as a peer.
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