This article is adapted from Davidson Institute’s “Considering Your Options: A Guidebook for Investigating Gap Year Opportunities”, part of our collection of free guidebooks for gifted and 2e families. For a deeper dive into supporting your gifted or twice-exceptional child, we encourage you to explore the full guide.
Before embarking on this wonderful journey of community involvement, it is important to consider your feelings and concerns as a parent, as well as your child’s readiness for such an endeavor. Here are some initial things to think about:
- What type of time commitment will this require of my child and me?
- Does he or she have enough time outside of their already busy schedule to commit to giving back?
- Are there any legal issues to be aware of? For example, some volunteer opportunities have specific age requirements. How do I know what is age-appropriate?
- Are there any safety or health concerns? For example, walking dogs (biting risk), planting flowers in the park (allergies), traveling (personal safety), etc.
- Is the cause my child is choosing to devote their time to credible one? Be aware of scams.
Scheduling
Volunteering your time and effort to a healthy cause you are passionate about is a noble act. It takes a special individual to devote their energies to others who may need a helping hand. While giving back is a gracious deed, it can be very time-consuming. An important question to consider is: do you and your child have enough time in your schedules to devote to this undertaking without becoming “burnt out?” Since you will likely need to provide transportation, guidance, and other support for this venture, it is not only your child who should think about the commitment carefully.
Involvement in extracurricular activities can be beneficial by increasing self-confidence, academic performance, school involvement, and establishing peer connections. Would your child be missing out on some of these opportunities if he or she becomes involved in a community service venture? Is it possible to incorporate community service and extracurricular activities into a busy schedule? It depends. If you are noticing that your child is frequently tired, stressed, or experiencing physical symptoms of being run-down, such as headaches or fatigue, then it may be time to talk with them to see if they would like to cut back on some of their commitments. To learn more about the signs of burnout, feel free to peruse the following articles:
- The Overlooked Side Effects of Overscheduling Kids, Families
- The Overbooked Child: Are We Pushing Our Kids Too Hard?
- Tips for Parents: The Social/Emotional Needs of the Highly/Profoundly Gifted Individual
Legal Issues
Are there any legal issues to be concerned with? We encourage all individuals who are thinking about volunteering or starting their own organization to research any possible legal or regulatory issues. It is essential that parents are well aware of all of the details concerning their child’s volunteer and community service activities. Every agency is unique and may have specific guidelines with regard to volunteering. Depending on the organization, there are often rules and regulations when it comes to the child’s age, as well as the amount of time allowed for volunteering. Always check with organizations directly for any volunteer policies and regulations.
Safety Concerns
First and foremost, your child’s safety is of the utmost importance. As you can imagine, safety risks will depend on the type of service opportunity your child is pursuing. Depending on the organization, some will require background checks before volunteering, while others will not. If your child is developing their own community service project, you should be extra diligent to ensure they are not taken advantage of.
There are clearly more safety concerns if your child is traveling to a place where the culture is different from their own. With any volunteer work, make sure your child is in a safe, secure place with a responsible adult present. Also, providing your child with a cell phone is very important so he or she can check in with you in case of an emergency. While volunteering is a wonderful and rewarding experience, it is always important to be aware of your surroundings. It would be a good idea to meet other individuals who are working with your son or daughter in order to get to know them and judge for yourself if you approve of your child spending time with this person or group of people. As always, listen to your parental instincts!
Volunteer Scams
Any time fundraising or donations are involved, it is always wise to proceed with caution. It may be a good idea to do some research of your own about the organization first. Red flags should include organizations that “cold call” or have websites that ask for your bank or credit card information and/or Social Security number. You may want to look for specific contact information such as a physical location, a director, or phone numbers. Do not be hesitant to make a few phone calls and ask specific questions. If you are unable to speak with someone about your concerns, it might be a good idea to do some further research before investing in that particular organization or cause. A tax deduction slip, specific informational brochures, or documentation about the cause and fundraising goals should be available upon request. As mentioned previously, when disasters strike, be extra cautious; fundraising scams tend to increase.
You might be asking yourself why, with all these potential pitfalls, should I bother allowing my child to take on such potentially risky activities? We would not be writing this book if we did not believe that the potential benefits outweigh most of the potential risks in well-thought-out, legitimate community service activities. After all, it is in the Davidson Institute’s mission to “provide opportunities for young people to develop their talents and make a positive difference.” Giving back through community service is a wonderful way for young people to make this positive difference.
What are some of the benefits of community service for my family?
With today’s hectic lifestyles, staying connected is not easy for many families. One way to achieve this connection is for parents and kids to become involved in community projects together. In addition to the intended benefits that your actions will bring to the people and organizations that are helped, it can also bring a family closer together and provide some much-needed time to bond, not to mention the positive role modeling opportunity it will provide for you as a parent. Leading by example is often the best way to teach a young person, and giving back activities are no exception. According to Anita Gurian, Ph.D., of the New York University (NYU) Child Study Center and Clinical Assistant Professor of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine:
“not only do children derive satisfaction and a sense of pride from volunteering, but they also get a lot of important learning experiences. In addition to learning about an individual’s responsibility to the community and to others, they:
- Gain a wider perspective on the diversity of lifestyles – they learn to respect people of different backgrounds, abilities, ethnicity, and income levels.
- Learn how to make and keep a commitment – how to be on time and complete assignments.
- Acquire practical skills in a variety of settings – politics, hospitals, clinics, schools and clubs.
- Learn to work as a team and to take on leadership roles.
- Appreciate the individual’s stake in the community.
- Learn they have control of what happens in their own lives and communities.
- Develop a realistic sense of the quality of their own lives by giving their time or something concrete to others.”
Here is an article by Dr. Gurian and Dr. Richard Gallagher that mentions volunteerism: Raising Responsive and Responsible Children.
How you (as a parent) can help
You play a critical role in your child’s attitude towards giving back. By encouraging engagement in the community and modeling civic involvement of your own, your children will see an inherent value in such activities and enjoy taking part, alongside you.
Depending on how old your child is, encourage them to do as much as possible on their own. By doing so, you will allow them to feel a sense of ownership for their service. If necessary, help them identify and contact community agencies or assist them with Internet searches for community service opportunities. Allow him or her to be the ultimate decision-maker within reason regarding where and when they would like to serve. As a parent, you can think about practical matters and logistics (such as transportation) and leave the rest up to your son or daughter.
Not sure how or when to start? Take this advice from Dr. Gurian:
“Start early. Positive early experiences with other people and with their community form the basis for children’s growing appreciation of the wider world. Families and children can volunteer together for some jobs – helping clean up a playground or a beach, simple repairs in low-income housing, working at a community food bank or facility for elderly people, visiting the homebound, helping at an animal shelter, or taking on a home baking project for fundraising. If your child has a particular interest, you can use it as a springboard into volunteering. For example, a child who loves animals may enjoy helping out at the local animal shelter.
Children of all ages can participate in community service projects and programs. Young and early elementary school children want to please others and are willing to share. They would benefit from short, one-at-a-time, action-oriented tasks and projects that are active rather than sedentary. With supervision, young children can plant flowers to beautify schools or parks, help serve snacks to shut-ins, collect food and clothing for emergency relief, or clean up a playground.
Middle school kids are enthusiastic about contributing to a cause, and although they are capable of planning, they still need some adult guidance. Children of this age can tutor younger children, sew, make, or repair items needed for local shelters, or raise money for a charity of their choice.
High school students, capable of relating and responding to the concerns and needs of others in a more mature way, can take a broad view. They can identify community needs and create plans of action, provide childcare, teach children and adults how to read, and work in schools, clubs, and community organizations.”
We hope you are inspired to go out there and get involved with your kids!
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