Part of the Davidson Institute series, “Working With Your Gifted Child’s School”
- Part 1 – Is It Okay to Advocate? (Myths vs. Reality)
- Part 2 – First Conversations That Actually Work
- Part 3 – From One Teacher to Your Full Support Team
- Part 4 – Boredom, Rights, 2e, and When Advocacy Gets Hard
You Don’t Have to Wait for a Problem
You don’t necessarily want to wait until there is a problem to reach out to your child’s school. Establishing a rapport and a collaborative relationship early can make it much easier to navigate issues if they arise later. The goal of your first conversations is simple: set a positive, open tone so everyone feels like they’re on the same team.
These connections can start small—an email, a quick chat in the pick‑up line, or a brief phone call. Thoughtful, proactive contact helps teachers see you as a partner who’s interested in supporting both your child and the classroom as a whole.
What Does Initial Communication with a School Look Like?
When you’re starting a relationship with your child’s teacher, it can be helpful to think in terms of four moves: introduce, frame, affirm, and invite.
- Introduce yourself and your family briefly. Let the teacher know who you are, and give them the opportunity to reciprocate by asking about themselves.
- Give them a lens for understanding your child. Explain your child’s characteristics in the way you hope they are viewed. For example, you might describe your child as curious and enthusiastic about learning rather than saying that they ask 1,000 questions per hour.
- Acknowledge the work the teacher is doing, while also giving them a window into how you are already supporting your student at home. For instance: “From the back‑to‑school night, it sounds like you’re going to be working hard with the class on improving writing this year. I really appreciate that. Over the summer, I gave my child silly prompts to respond to each day to encourage a habit of journaling. I know this isn’t the formal instruction you’ll provide, but I hope this has kept their writing abilities sharp.”
- Open the door for further communication, while offering to support their work in whatever way is realistic for you. This may be volunteering in the classroom or on field trips, purchasing supplies, or contributing a unique skill you have.
Starting with appreciation and shared goals doesn’t mean you ignore problems. It simply lays a foundation of respect that makes it easier to talk honestly when concerns come up.
Try This: Use an Email Template to Break the Ice
If “cold-emailing” a teacher feels intimidating, you don’t have to start from a blank page. To begin conversations with your child’s teacher, explore and utilize these basic email templates. You can personalize them with details about your child, their interests, and any questions or concerns you’re already noticing.
You’re Not Alone—And Help Is Here
Parenting a profoundly gifted or twice-exceptional child can feel isolating. The free Young Scholars program connects families like yours with professionals, resources, and a community that gets it. From school advocacy to emotional support, we’re here to help your family thrive.
What Information Should I Provide to Help the School Understand My Student’s Unique Needs and Profile?
When communicating with schools about your child, think beyond test scores and grades. Numbers can be useful, but they rarely capture the full picture of a profoundly gifted or twice-exceptional learner.
One powerful way to communicate your student’s unique needs, wants, and goals is by curating a portfolio.
A portfolio allows you to highlight your child’s strengths, talents, and achievements in a way that demonstrates who they are as a profoundly gifted individual. While schools often say they are interested in potential, they more often respond to demonstrated achievement. In addition to any private testing reports or assessments, consider including:
- Work samples from previous grades or schools
- Products from enrichment programs or extracurricular activities
- Projects from summer programs or camps
- Independent projects your child has pursued on their own
Accompany each piece with a short summary explaining why it’s relevant and how it reflects your child’s abilities or needs. For instance, sharing a project that shows deep intellectual curiosity or advanced reasoning can offer a glimpse into their potential beyond what might be visible in day‑to‑day classwork.
This portfolio isn’t just about impressing the school—it’s a tool to anchor conversations in concrete examples. It makes it easier to talk about appropriate challenge, pacing, and placement because everyone can see what your child is already doing.
Dig Deeper: Self‑Advocacy
While self-advocacy is often associated with older students, such as those in middle and high school, advocating for oneself is a skill that can be developed at any time in an educational journey. Younger children in elementary school can also have strong opinions about their education and what might help them learn best.
One tool that can be used to foster self-advocacy skills is writing a letter. Crafting a letter allows students to practice communicating their thoughts and needs in a structured, low-stress environment. They can draft and revise as many times as needed before sharing with their teacher.
To gain a clearer understanding of how to best communicate your child’s unique needs, you can review our Self‑Advocacy template to support your child in beginning to speak up for themselves at school when appropriate.
Putting It Together: A First Conversation Blueprint
By the time you’ve:
- Reached out early with a brief, positive introduction
- Shared a strengths‑based snapshot of your child
- Collected concrete examples of their work in a simple portfolio
- Used a letter or template to frame their needs clearly
…you’ve set the stage for more productive, less adversarial conversations down the line. You’re signaling: I’m here to partner, and I’m also paying close attention to my child’s needs.
What’s Next in This Series
You’ve got your foot in the door and a clearer way to present your child’s profile. In Part 3 of this series, read about how to move from a single positive relationship with one educator to building a broader, sustainable support team around your gifted child.
How Davidson Young Scholars Helps
Families in the Young Scholars program often use portfolios, Letters to Educators, and guidance from our Family Services team to plan these early conversations with schools. If you’d like more individualized support as you navigate advocacy, you can learn more and apply here.
Permission Statement
This article is provided as a service of the Davidson Institute for Talent Development, a 501(c)3 nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted young people 18 and under. To learn more about the Davidson Institute’s programs, please visit www.DavidsonGifted.org.
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