Part of the Davidson Institute series, “Working With Your Gifted Child’s School”
- Part 1 – Is It Okay to Advocate? (Myths vs. Reality)
- Part 2 – First Conversations That Actually Work
- Part 3 – From One Teacher to Your Full Support Team
- Part 4 – Boredom, Rights, 2e, and When Advocacy Gets Hard
The Myth of the Gifted Child
Gifted students are often portrayed and thought of as the children that glide easily into schools, that are enthusiastic about all things academic, and that are beloved by their teachers for being so easy to work with or as a little assistant.
But the lived experience of school for most gifted children isn’t picture perfect.
The Real Challenge
In the current education system of the United States, typical schools are not designed for neurodivergent, including profoundly gifted (PG) and twice-exceptional (2e), students. This doesn’t mean that gifted kids can’t or don’t find success in schools. They do. However, that often means that families are frequently communicating, advocating, and working closely with their student’s educational team.
Messages That Silence Parents
Parents receive lots of messages overtime that may lead them to downplay their role in their student’s educational team. Teachers are stretched thin; don’t bother them! School budgets are tight; there’s no room to do anything different! If your child receives something different, that’s not fair to the others; don’t you want all children to receive a good education!?! Don’t rock the boat; do you really want to be that parent in the community?!?
The Truth About Change
We’re not saying that teachers aren’t managing Herculean workloads, that schools aren’t under-resourced, or that all children shouldn’t receive education that meets their needs. We know that’s true. At the same time, we know that change only can happen when the boat gets rocked a little (or a lot!).
You’re Already on the Right Path
Advocacy is often a long, slow, and hard process, but its rewards can be far-reaching. We’re here to help.
If you’re reading this, you’ve already taken the first courageous step. Perhaps you’ve sensed that something—whether it be the level and pace of their school’s curriculum, a facet of their learning environment, or something else—isn’t quite hitting the right notes for your child, or maybe you’re standing at the crossroads of tough educational decisions. Whatever brings you here, know this: You’re not alone, and, more importantly, you hold more power than you might realize.
Your voice matters. Your concerns are valid. And, your instincts about your child’s needs deserve to be heard. The educational landscape can often feel like an intricate maze of bureaucratic corridors, but you need not ask permission to start advocating for your child’s needs. You are their first and most powerful advocate, equipped with both the authority and insight to reach out, question, challenge, and explore every available avenue for their growth. Though there are no guaranteed outcomes, every step you take in advocacy—whether grand or subtle—shapes the foundation of your child’s educational journey.
We’ve briefly touched on this, but let’s start by exploring some myths about gifted students that can be used to discourage parents from advocating for their students.
Common Gifted Myth | Often Lived Experiences |
|---|---|
| If a child is really gifted, then everything comes to them easily, and they won’t need any help. | Gifted children have an asynchronous profile, which means they may be far ahead of their peers in some areas, but they may be at grade-level (or even a little behind) in other areas. This can create a disconnect, where their intellectual strengths mask the fact that they still require support in other areas. It’s also important to remember that gifted children are children who don’t haven’t lived on the earth that long yet; they need guidance as they navigate through the world. |
| Teachers are experts in all types of learning profiles, and schools know how to differentiate for different learners. | There is a significant gap in the understanding of giftedness in many schools. Gifted education is not part of the core curriculum in most teacher preparation programs, meaning many teachers may not be equipped to support gifted students effectively. Even within the professional community of gifted education, there hasn’t been universal agreement on definitions and best practices. Thus, even within gifted schools and programs, there can be a lot of variability in service to gifted students. |
| Parents of gifted students are pushy, entitled, and overestimate their student’s abilities. | You do know your child best, and we know that you’re often just desperately trying keep up with your child. As one Young Scholar parent said, “I don’t push my kid; my kid pushes me! I feel like I drag behind sometimes.” It’s not entitled to ask for what your child needs to grow into a healthy adult. |
You’re Not Alone—And Help Is Here
Parenting a profoundly gifted or twice-exceptional child can feel isolating. The free Young Scholars program connects families like yours with professionals, resources, and a community that *gets it*. From school advocacy to emotional support, we’re here to help you thrive.
Where should I start? Should I approach a specific teacher or go straight to administration?
With most concerns, you’d start with your student’s classroom teacher.
Classroom teachers typically see your child every day, have developed an individual relationship with your child, and know the most about their day-to-day activities. Just because you begin here, doesn’t mean that the classroom teacher is the end of the conversation. In many school systems, there is a chain of command or hierarchy for addressing concerns. After starting with the classroom teacher, if you feel that your concerns need further attention or if you are looking for specific accommodations, your next step may be to reach out to the school’s administration. This could involve meeting with the school counselor, gifted coordinator, assistant principal, or even the principal, depending on the nature of the issue.
Of course, the chain of command can vary depending on the issue at hand. For example, if your concern is related to health or medication, you might want to start with the school nurse, who is the most knowledgeable about medical needs and medication protocols. If your child has dietary needs or allergies, reaching out to the head of the cafeteria or the school nutrition director may be the right place to start. Each area of concern often has a designated person who can assist you and knowing who to go to can save time and energy.
Ultimately, the approach depends on the specific nature of the issue, but starting with the classroom teacher is often a good first step. From there, you can assess whether to move up to administration or reach out to other school staff members to address particular needs.
Try this: Use the Advocacy Glossary of People to help identify key contacts and roles in your advocacy efforts.
Knowing who to approach is step one. See first conversations that actually work in Part 2 of this series.
How Davidson Young Scholars Helps: Families in our free program get personalized guidance from our Family Services team to navigate these early advocacy conversations. Learn more about Young Scholars.
Permission Statement
This article is provided as a service of the Davidson Institute for Talent Development, a 501(c)3 nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted young people 18 and under. To learn more about the Davidson Institute’s programs, please visit www.DavidsonGifted.org.
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